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The E.A.R.: It All Falls Down

 

As the latter half of summer comes about, I can’t help but replay a constantly reoccurring conflict. I love the summer, and the longer days that come with it. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. I love football, fall, and anything pumpkin related. I realize that in order for the fall festivities to come, summer must end. I present to you, a war that plays out in my head every year around this time.

Practical me: The days are starting to get shorter, summer is nearing its end. This sucks; I miss the longer days, and the 8:30 sunsets.

Inner basic me: But look at all the pumpkin shit that’s starting to come out! They’ve got your favorite pumpkin beer in stores.

Football me: YEAH! JUST IN TIME FOR FOOTBALL!!!!! LUCKY BEER!!!!!!!

Practical me: I guess that’s true, but these shorter days put a damper on my mood.

Football me: BLITZ FOR SIX!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON’T YOU WANT TO SEE BRADY GET A SIXTH FINGER SURGICALLY IMPLANTED ON HIS HAND?!

Practical me: I guess, but this cold weather doesn’t cut it for me.

Inner basic me: Ooh, I can’t wait for that crisp fall weather so that I can feel the warmth of a nice pumpkin spice latte.

Practical me: I’m trying to behave health-wise

Fatass me: Behave?! My nigga! Have you forgotten about the fall/winter trifecta known as Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Soup Joumou day (A traditional Haitian Squash Soup eaten to celebrate the anniversary of the colony’s independence)?! Chill with that diet shit my nigga!

Inner basic me: Don’t forget about the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, and the Purina Dog Show!

Football me: Fuck that noise! There’s three straight football games that day! One to tide you over for dinner, one during dinner, and one to fall asleep during when the Ittis kicks in.

Fatass me: My nigga that ittis be lit!

Inner basic me: Don’t forget pumpkin pies!

Fatass me: Mmmm! I love pumpkin pie! This basic dude got the right idea. We also need football snacks.

Football me: SNACKS GOOD! MUST GET SNACKS TO STRESS EAT DURING THIS SEASON OF THE BLITZ FOR SIX!

Inner basic me: We also need those pumpkin cheerios your boo bear got you last year.

Fatass me: Mmm Mmm!!!!!!!!!! I finna get me some of those.

Football me: FUCK THE EAGLES!!!!!!!!

Inner basic me: No one asked for your input love! We’re thinking of all the pumpkin shit we were deprived of during the summer!

Football me: WHERE IS ROGER?!

Practical me: Fine! You ALL win! My head is starting to hurt.

Patriots Preseason: 1 day
Regular Season Kickoff: 29 days
Patriots Season Opener: 32 days
Thanksgiving: 106 days
Christmas: 139 days
Feast of the Holy Family (A Catholic Feast Day very dear to me): 144 days
Haitian Independence/Soup Joumou Day: 146 days

 

Flemmings Beaubrun is an avid gamer and lover of music. When not working, Flemmings likes to spend his time whipping up dank beats for the masses. He also spends his weekends thrift shopping for rare video games and obscure electronics. Other times he’s in front of a TV with a giant bowl of cereal enjoying shows from the 90s.

 

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Bamboozled No More! Beat Up to Beatdown

 

Remember
They beat u up to beat u down,
To wear out your heart from your soul
From your mind, from your body,
To wear out your emotional batteries,
To put you where they sit
With their fears, doubts & insecurities.
Sometimes they try to reason
The beat downs r for your own good
When it is their survival at risk.
Please remember that no matter what
You are loved by those who came before you,
Those in the now, and those yet to arrive.

 

Janet Cormier is a painter, writes prose and poetry, and performs comedy. JC prefers different and original over pretty. She loves collecting stuff, but cleaning not so much. Janet also talks to strangers…a lot. Her column now appears weekly on Oddball Magazine.

 

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Bamboozled No More! Time Traveler

 

Ole man weathered
Loud
entered the train
followed by the smell of pee and weed,
which suffocated all within inhale distance.
It is unclear if he is the spirit of days past
Or our future

 

Janet Cormier is a painter, writes prose and poetry, and performs comedy. JC prefers different and original over pretty. She loves collecting stuff, but cleaning not so much. Janet also talks to strangers…a lot. Her column now appears weekly on Oddball Magazine.

 

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Bamboozled No More! Fate

 

At some point in time
You will become too much to handle.
The heat of your passion will burnout the retinas of their eyes.
Your questions will stiffen the muscles of their necks
and your inquisitiveness will become annoying.
What they once found charming or at least usable
will be re-labeled as regrettable or outdated
And eventually you will be discarded or lost among the others
who believed in the hype.

 

Janet Cormier is a painter, writes prose and poetry, and performs comedy. JC prefers different and original over pretty. She loves collecting stuff, but cleaning not so much. Janet also talks to strangers…a lot. Her column now appears weekly on Oddball Magazine.

 

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Bamboozled No More! Summertime

 

There he is…a vision of cool,
Panama hat creating
mysterious silhouette,
loose white collared shirt spilling onto
thick woven khaki linen pants
which partially conceal
blood red socks that pour
into rich brown shoes.
I am breathless and confused…
These words are easier to write
than to say or ponder
my vision of cool.

 

Janet Cormier is a painter, writes prose and poetry, and performs comedy. JC prefers different and original over pretty. She loves collecting stuff, but cleaning not so much. Janet also talks to strangers…a lot. Her column now appears weekly on Oddball Magazine.

 

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Bamboozled No More! Integrity vs. Convenience

 

When was the last time you used or heard the word integrity? It is a word that is rarely used. I sometimes think of the word as a ghost/smoke or cloud that is moving further and further away from us. With luck, it might show up as the $10,000.00 word on a game show.

For many, integrity is nothing more than an inconvenience. It takes time, effort and just isn’t cost effective. I am amazed how often I see people lie and make empty promises. What I find more horrific is how easily and naturally their words flow. These people will say anything to be heard, to take up space and to silence others.

I watch them rebuff the challenges to their statements with ease. They shift shamelessly into what I call “Gas Light” mode and challenge your sanity. The good ol’ standby responses include but are not limited to silence, sighs, rolling eyes, hostile stares, blank stares, and my favorite, the “I never said that” chant. Note no exclamation mark needed here since the chant has been transformed in to a statement of fact.

  • The results create and nurture one sided historical accounts that justify/rationalize.
  • The stealing land and lives.
  • Placing profit over people.
  • Sacrificing the many for the few.
  • Blaming victims and rewarding/sympathizing with the aggressors.
  • Solving the easy and/or high profile crimes while ignoring cases that are too labor intensive.
  • Doping to win.
  • Building casinos to create (minimum wage) jobs.
  • Infidelity.
  • Winning games with deflated balls to inflate egos.
  • Letting the rich get richer, the folks in the middle get poor, and the poorer get squashed.
  • Increasing the minimum wage, which still won’t be able to support a minimal standard of living.
  • Allowing/encouraging/rewarding stealing ideas and discounting creativity.

Integrity is becoming an extinct value. To keep it alive, it may be necessary to travel with body cameras to family functions, places of worship, in the workplace, social and political gatherings, on public transportation, in newsrooms on the campaign trail, at the polling stations, and any black folks engaged in the following activities: driving/walking/shopping/ breathing/standing still.

As-salaam aleykum (peace)

 

Janet Cormier is a painter, writes prose and poetry, and performs comedy. JC prefers different and original over pretty. She loves collecting stuff, but cleaning not so much. Janet also talks to strangers…a lot. Her column appears regularly in Oddball Magazine.