Photography © Chad Parenteau
Catfish
My cat says
voting
is a suckers game.
I bought him
a collar on Etsy
with the words
-I Voted-
embroidered on it
but I haven’t
made him
wear it.
As I hold it awkwardly
close to his face
whispering
about possibilities
he looks at me
like I’m wasting my breathe
not having believed
in anything
since being Catfished
by Taylor Swift.
Every night for nearly a year
the Pop Star mimicked
our neighbors cats ritual
until TSwift’s love dance
was revealed to be
a nefarious rouse concocted
to win a bet
with Ariana Grande.
It’s been zero fucks
and Sex Pistols
ever since
coming
ass-to-mouth
with the fact
that rich people
don’t give a shit
about any cats feelings.
My cat has neither name
nor game.
He has vowed
to never again
fall victim
to the niche
past times of celebrities
no matter how catchy
their songs are.
Host of The Garage Poets Open Mic, and master of the Dad Joke, Jeff Taylor lives in Massachusetts, with his wife and 3 kids.
Chad Parenteau is Associate Editor of Oddball Magazine.
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