Election Math 101: Who Counts the Votes
Titled after my painting of the same name

It was the craziest of all Thanksgivings.
Not sure what to be thankful for.
2016, the year the American Bald Eagle
was replaced by a Wild Turkey.
The colors of Ole Glory faded fast.
Suddenly the label on budget bourbon
seemed a more appropriate symbol
for the times to come.

Wild Turkey strutting in the White House,
turning the American Dream
into a continuous nightmare.
The country became a commodity.
People’s futures traded on an open market.
The votes were cast,
but who counted the votes?
Did the votes count at all?
Votes just cards in a marked deck
where the Wild Turkey card trumped all.


A Very Very Trump Christmas

Santa and Elves stopped at the border.
Santa couldn’t present documentation
verifying citizenship!

Rudolf is hiding in fear of his life.
The restrictions on reindeer hunting
have been lifted!

And a warning had been issued
prohibiting parents to name their sons Jesus
’cause it just doesn’t sound American!


Janet Cormier is a painter, writes prose and poetry, and performs comedy. JC prefers different and original over pretty. She loves collecting stuff, but cleaning not so much. Janet also talks to strangers. A lot. Her column now appears weekly on Oddball Magazine.