I woke up early today, Saturday March 6th. Feel pretty good, and feel like I should share something with you. I haven’t written in my blog in a while, and so many things have happened. Like one, I saw Shutter Island. It was decent. Two. I have many new theories about LOST. They are quite interesting. Three. I have had a number of wardrobe malfunctions at work. That’s something right there. Four. Pat schooled me in basketball, but that’s something entirely different. Five, Been going to the gym more, eating healthy. Alright, so let’s get to it.
First off, Shutter Island wasn’t at all what I expected. I’m not even sure if I liked it. The first time I tried to see it, I had eaten a ton of mussels at Legal Seafood, and sitting down at the AMC in Burlington, I began to feel sick, and ended up throwing up in the bathroom. Now I can’t even think about mussels without wanting to puke. Me and Lisa got our money back, and after feeling gross for the rest of the night, we went to see it in Dedham the next afternoon.
So your asking yourself, enough about mussels, How was the movie?? Now I am not one to spoil anyone’s high on seeing Shutter Island. But you asked, so here we go. Leonardo DiCaprio, can’t grow a full beard. He has patchy skin like mine. I didn’t really appreciate his Boston accent. It sounded too forced. Also, I knew halfway through the movie, what the outcome would be. He started acting crazy. It was simple, but effective. So, without giving too much away, Leonardo DiCaprio is a mental patient, where everything has been completely set up for him, a test to see if he is crazy. I knew he was, for trying to fake a Boston accent. His doctor is his partner and is a Federal Marshall. Oh, and Leonardo was so clever that his name is an anagram for someone else. The movie was garbage. No what though? See Moon with Sam Rockwell that movie will blow your mind. And after watch The Invention of Lying with Ricky Gervais. That movie will tickle your funny bone. And no one tries to fake a Boston accent. (Although The Invention of Lying is filmed in the Boston area, and Moon is of course filmed on location.)
Quick thoughts about LOST.
First off when you have nothing to say to a table try bringing up LOST, if your table like’s LOST, your tip will go up ten percent. When you have nothing to say to co-workers bring up LOST, they will instantly find you interesting, with the rugged good looks of Sawyer, and the sense of John Locke and the stoner lovability of Hurley. Both table and coworker will find you have one of these traits. LOST unites people, you could talk to anyone about LOST. You know why? Because everyone has a theory. Honest to God though, I think my girlfriend has the best theory on LOST. It made me shiver, not really, but its a great theory. It has to do with the sideways reality and Locke. I won’t spoil it for you, but if you comment back asking “Hey, Jason what the deal, tell me about Lost.” Then I will be glad to blow your effin’ mind.
Alright, we talked about Shutter Island, and Lost, even mentioned Moon, and Leo’s fake Boston accent. On to wardrobe malfunctions.
O.k so I have worn three pairs of pants religiously at the Tucc. First off were the Dickies, they held for quite a long time. I began to notice that they were completely wripped at the bottom, and the were going to split eventually. So, then I bought a new pair of pants, at TJMAX. If you recall, in an older blog post PUNKS AND PUKING, that there were obvious reasons why I bought them. Anway, they started to split down the side of the pants. My manager said it was time to get new pants, because he could see exactly what color my boxer shorts were that day. On that day they were white boxers. Anyway, so then I had to get a new pair of pants. These pants I got at KOHL’S, and they were expensive marked down from 50 to 30. Not very good material though, because last Thursday at work, after talking to a customer about Lost, (which upped my tip percentage as stated before) I kneeled down to tie my shoe, and heard a rip. Not a big deal, I thought it was just my boxer shorts. Little did I know, that it began to open the crotch open like a woman giving birth. That was fine though, I continued on with my day. Then while I was doing side work, I was once again crouching in the kitchen putting plates away in the salad refrigerator when Jose the dishwasher walked past me and I slipped and my pants completely split open, all the way. I looked like I got mauled by a doberman pinscher. I left work early after showing my boss proof, that I couldn’t work because of the draft down below. I ended up leaving calling a cab, and talking to the Cabby about how my day was, which was good and ended up with me inevitably splitting my pants. Yeah. That’s not it though. The next day I went to Walmart to buy a pair of Dickies, so no one would see my ballsies. But apparently I have grown in size in the old gut, and bought a size too small. So when the day came to go to work. I wore my least wripped pair of pants, but noticed that the zipper was broken. The whole walk to the T that day was drafty. If there is one thing to say about Pants, I mean fully operational pants, that they give you comfort knowing that your safe, secure, zipped up, and ready to face the day. Well Lisa ended up bringing a new pair of pants to work that night for me, and that is only one of many reasons I love her.
Last but not least, Pat whooped me in basketball the other day, but I was under the weather. REMATCH!!