Wishing (to be)

Writing like a backyard BBQ trying to get the fire started and let the smoke breathe in new air
I will not admit defeat
Writers block hit me in the back seat
Each rhyme sounds worse then the next
Each word smells of failure
I just want green pastures
And black cats and broken mirrors
I want to sing under ladders
I want to say bloody Mary 3 times backwards and see what happens

Finding medallions in the sand
One diamond left to find

Really reality is just a windchime
Bringing me back to where I grew up
Windchime Dr.
The smell of spring
The sight of dew on the grass
Shooting baskets before the bus came
Fishing with Jon
Three pointers with Andy
Singing Radiohead with Ryan
Playing three chords
and then learning more
Saying as a freshmen
that the Beach Boys were more influential then the Beatles
Knowing now that Pet Sounds influenced Sargent Pepper
Drawing distressed American flags on desks in social studies
Living distressed with no reason
Etching thirty five on a desk after Reggie Lewis
Remembering waking up in the middle of the night to here
that 2pac got shot
Just being ADD
Just Being free.
That first cigarette the same day as my first toke.
The future was real, full of hope?
Oddball dreams?
Who knew
Oddball would become reality
even if I didn’t want it to be.