I’m happier when you’re not around
I’ve given lifetimes to your side
Maiden
Mother
Crone
Each time
Alone
In your company

I’m not saying
Oh woe is me

God is tired of my apologies

Even destiny knows that shit’s on repeat
And can’t deliver mine to me.

In your company

I was fulfilling prophecies
The egotistical tales your silent mind weaved
How could you love me
When you didn’t respect me

My broken doll believing your love would be the fix

Your love was just a trick

I oiled nuts you’d bolt on squeaky tricycle wheels I’d squeal

“Now I will heal! I loved with all of my soul! Something else I will feel!”

The lies we choose to tell ourselves

I swear
They start off as truth.

“Now I will heal”
I change the ending.

I’m happier when you’re not around
There’s a different sound
Confidence
Peace
Cleanliness
Echoing.

Doubt
Chaos
Pollution
Distancing.

Every single second

Please take all of life’s time to disappear

I’m happier when you’re not here.

I held on as nurturers do
Replacing your bandaids as night nurses do
Blinded by your tears unable to see the crocodile inside of you

I kept believing you

I mean
Who would choose to bruise someone who loves them?

The cruel do.

Who would choose to love someone who bruises them?

The suckered do.

The Pure do.

Broken dolls shouldn’t play with broken soldiers
Stacking elephants atop shoulders
The room’s walls close in too soon

They cannot be ignored.

We should cure and not just heal before we seek to seal a new deal

With a kiss.

I am now aware of this.

Broken doll self fixed.

I am not my worse enemy anymore

Ever since I dissolved your key to my heart’s door.

Playing has never been my purpose

Creating will always be my fingers’ love

I welcome life’s brand new Touch.

 

Liza Zayas is a lover of writing and dancing and celebrates both as a singer and songwriter performing as Luna del Flor. You can hear her collaborative sounds and experience life through her storytelling. She invites you to dance. Her poetry seeks to initiate dialogue by intentionally expressing consequences of love, lust, ego and self-respect.

 

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