Poem by Laura Marquette

The Offending Self

I remove the offending self
Gone, denied and stopped
The ridiculous jealousy that brings only doubt,
appalling need for approval forever unfulfilled,
concerns for cool designed by unobtainable ideals,
desire for grand destiny amid a life of daily grinds
Gone, denied and stopped
In hopes of finding my core, my calm, the being I wish I was.
Know I could be if only…

Again and again
Internal discord leads to
Internal review leads to
Internal surgery
Gone, denied and stopped
Again and again
I felt for a moment, a moment of calm, but not…
Where is the space, the place, the core in me that IS me?
Not in the fear that dives me to harm.
Gone
Not in the need for others to need me
Gone
Not in this
Not with that,
Again and again

WHERE is the me that knows me?
Not within the desire to be desired..
Denied
Not the lust for open waters that leads to unfulfillment of my contained life
Stopped.
Internal discord leads to
Internal review leads to
Internal surgery
Again and again
Where am I?
I saw for a glowing moment, but gone
Where is the being I know I could be.
Again and again
I have not dug far enough
I fear I’ve cut too deep.
Again and again
I am running out of self….

I remove the offending self.

Laura Marquette is a digital production artist. “I’ve spent the past few years working too much and creating too little. I hope to create more every day.”

Edward S. Gault is a poet and fine art photographer. He lives at Mosaic Commons, a co-housing community in Berlin, Ma. He has a wife Karen, and daughter.