How to tick people off

1. One up a person, if they say my mother had 4 kids you tell them your mother had 5 and no car
2. Get everything cheaper. If she got her blueberries for 1 dollar a quart first find out where she got them, then tell her        that you got yours for .25 cents from a friend who owns a farm and only sells to you and a few other favorite people.
3. They only spend $200.00 a winter on heat. You tell them your new pellet stove along with keeping the heat at 55        degrees you only spent 50.00
4. Your child is in a contest, there is only one winner. He doesn’t win but you caricaturize his position as the runner        up. Not A runner up
5. Pretend you are a good friend but at every opportunity say things, insinuate, boast that you are better, smarter, more        connected.

 

“Confusion Horn” © TJ Edson

 

Eileen Hugo’s work has been published in Heels and Souls, a Literary Anthology of the Stoneham Writers Group

TJ Edson is the Art Director of Oddball Magazine and a volunteer at the Out of The Blue Art Gallery. He has also had work appear recently in Terrarium.