Took an Ativan at the close of business
Writing on the train
With this lyrical quickness
Smelling bud but it’s not mine
Wish I could spark but I must move on
Time travels
And unravels
The mind is so loose
But shines like porcelain
Listening to 9th again
Trying to fill the fragility
With agility writing to the beats
Trying to swallow this apathy
I wish like it makes a difference
I’m still gonna be the freak on the train
With mental illness
It sounds so trite but oh so true
Keep myself together with obtuse
Truths
Wishing I could be an angel or a saint
But it’s not me it just ain’t
I can try and do good and boost this attitude
To less confused
But my mind is sharp and sticks each thought out into the aisles
And tries to hide in lies with a smile
And step aside to let another take this train wreck to the next step
Listening to DJ Shadow yeah it’s a midnight in an imperfect world
But the one you live in seems beautiful
I just want to be the one who wins
But I guess I have to think first
What’s better
What’s worse
We all end up dispersed in hearses
But I must live this universe till it’s mono or omni and I can unravel these lessons that I know I’ve lost
Forgotten in a closet with guitars and harps
And fall forward
I hope you catch me before I do
Chase me to the end of love
And disco step backwards
Roll back into a nevertown sunset
And never look back to see the sun
Illuminate the nevertown skies
And drown myself in the nevertown sleep
And dream like a zombie
And pray my soul to keep
Staying in my body instead of jumping ship
Shutting up shop and not giving a shit
I am a fucking poet people!
I scream and it’s in screams I see

I am just existing in the now
Building a library
Books and books that I’ve written you will never see
And falling
Falling seems so sweet
I pray for myself my friends and my enemies
Cause these nevertown streets are mean
And the last sight We see
Never really means a thing
Could even be a stop sign
Or a stop light in the nevertown sunshine
it may have been a gold light
seen for the last time

But that last dying light will I rage against it? Or will Death stop for me cause I’m too busy
To see the beauty

I bet it’s a single sonic sound

And God will say
You did good kid
You can put the pen down

And then everything will be everything
To me
Complete clarity

I hope I see it in Gods shadow
As he walks away from me.

 

Jason Wright is the founder and Editor of Oddball Magazine. His “Jagged Thoughts” column appears weekly.