I was walking on an apocalyptic night.
The apocalyptic night flies were burning bright.
The apocalyptic sunshine was dragging me to burn.
And I was walking down the path
Carrying an urn.
The urn was a dogs ashes mixed with my dad’s-
I know that’s kind of morbid
But nothing ever lasts.
I was walking and whistling
And the owls eyes burned into me.
And alone I was not.
As something came creeping up,
I stopped.
And hesitated.
But looking back I saw not a thing.
Like Christmas Eve or something–
Not a single thing stirring.
In the distance I saw fire!
I saw cars and gasoline burn!
And there I walked
I quickened my gait,
as I walked with that sullen urn…
And I saw a narrow path in front of me,
Thought I would take it one more time
A trip down memory lane
Oh lovely Windchime Dr.
Oh lonely and whistful I was
As I wandered into the second house on the left.
I walked down the path.
And you wouldn’t believe what I saw next.
I saw a dog.
He looked nice in the night.
But when he looked me square in the face
He only had one eye!
His legs were sort of broken and he whimpered-
To die.

And on I sadly walked past him
On to 14 Windchime drive
The door had been painted over
From bright blue to blood red–
And there was yellow caution tape
And something definitely inside-
But something definitely
not dead.
I walked with the urn
And the door creaked ajar.
And there I took a step
Maybe a step too far.
Because when I stepped into the house
I heard something stirring inside…
I went to look around
And then I heard

The lights flickered on
And there in my old house
Were my neighbors
From long ago
With a cake?
What the fuck?
I just had to know.
Was it my birthday?
Was this just a dream?
I dropped
The urn of my dog and dear old dad.
And when I went to scoop up the remains
Frantically I tried to leave
To Get the hell out of there!
But the neighbor had my sleeve.
So I tried again
But by then the other one drew near
I was scared I tried to run
and I tripped on the way out!
And as I tried to get away
The dog with one eye
Could only watch
As the neighbors rushed me back in
And the doors
slammed shut.
And all I could do was pray to who or to what?
I tried to run through them
As I escaped them one more time
And I ran out back
Outside into the night
And out from the pond
I heard some more come from the banks
And creep up slowly on
I ran to the left – and there they were
I backed up towards the right
And ran into her…
The dearest one
I loved so long ago
Came out from above the ground
Oh her beautiful undead soul!

She twisted back and forth
Her hair had long grown long

Blood was in her eye sockets
But oh god her eyes were gone!

And there I was
In my old neighborhood
On that the coldest night
With the undead creeping closer
Me being the only thing alive.

I backed away
I tried to – but I must have slipped over the bones of something
Near that creak…
And there I splashed into the pond
The one I loved to swim.
And it was cold, really cold
As they were closing in.
So I tried to swim out to the farthest bank
40 feet away..
I figured I could run into the woods
And then I might be saved.

But as I tried to swim into the deep
My leg it started to cramp
And I tried again.
But my arm gave up
And there I was
In the middle of the pond
The one where I would go
When I was young,
Now the water was too high
And began to fill my lungs.

I gasped for air as I began to sink
Into the briny deep
And there I sank
Till I fell asleep
Into eternal dream.

But then the alarm clock rang
And I awoke in pain,
To: an
Undead zombie
At my brain.


Jason Wright is the editor and founder of Oddball Magazine. His column appears weekly.