In one blink of the eye, I turned 26.
I sang songs of smoke and handled storms.
I wrote love songs and longing songs.
I thought I was old then.

Now I no longer write for survival.
I no longer write with rhythm sticks.
I think that I could.
I think that I will.

I know that I have a song in my heart.
I play full on, stop and start.
My heartbeat pumps blood to my brain.
My tempo is allegro, and I maintain-
The music in the madness.

In another blink, I turn 43.
I wake my daughter up and let the sun wash over her.
I watch as my mother-in-law holds steady.
I grieve at the funeral of fathers.
I no longer smoke; drinks give my brain electric shocks.

I have been fighting my mind for 30 years.
Sometimes I absolutely want to give up.
Yet, I persevere, for Emerson, for Lisa, for life.

 

Jason Wright is the editor and founder of Oddball Magazine. His column appears weekly. His third book, Train of Thought 2: Almost Home is available now at the Oddball Book Store.