Jagged Thought #277: The Anxiety Chronicles 2 – Wake Up Less a Coward

 

If the world could just tell me that everything would be ok
I would believe it.
I would take my son and daughter to the sea, and smile at the sun.
If I was different, if I wasn’t me.
But I am me. The world has made me an enemy.
And all I wish was that I was free.
The only freedom I have is in poetry.

Here is my place in this microcosm.
Been around the world
And I want to go home.
I’m nauseous.
Wish I was different
And you would applaud it.

I am an enemy of me
But I never wanted to be.
I am going to write till the world makes sense again.

Friend, do you love me?
Do you despise me?
Can you feel my anxiety?
In these words that you read?

Whatever you wanted from me,
I am sorry.
I am holding on, I want to go home.
Take my pills.
Get under control.
Sleep alone for hours and wake up
Less a coward.

 

Jason Wright is the editor and founder of Oddball Magazine. His column appears weekly. His new book is Train of Thought.

 

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