So, today is an unusual day. As usual. I woke up from an interesting dream where I found out I was an alien, and that was pretty great. I mean I am alienated right? So I wake up, and I go down stairs and smoke a cigarette. Pretty usual day for me. Today I didn’t have to wake up for anything special. I mean tonight is special, its my friend’s bachelor party, and that will be drunken fun, that I will remember vaguely, that’s my plan.

But today boredom strikes a new chord. Tried writing a song today, but didn’t have any energy to actually strum more then four chords. Well, that is unusual because I know at least five. So, lately my day has consisted of trying to get my phone to work and smoking cigarettes. You might be asking yourself, Jason why don’t you get a job? Well the answer is I do have a job, and usually that’s what I do to keep the boredom down, while slowly making enough money for more cigarettes and energy drinks.

Latley at work, we have something called surveys. I swear they work against you in all shape and form. First off, I feel I am a pretty good server. But I mess up once awhile. Like yesterday, when I i.d a young couple. Who in hindsight now, I realize they were on a blind date. Well anyway, I i.d them, and then when I found out they were forty somethings, i said “Wow!” and then added, “I commend you, you both look great. I would have guessed you were about 27, (I said to the man), and to the women I said ” I would have pinned you for about 29″. That was my first mistake, saying that she looked older then him. Anyway, next I started talking about the specials. Nervously, I interrupted, and said “Wow, sorry about the awkward comments there.” And she said, “I didn’t realize it was awkward”. Then I said, “Well, it was. And I am sorry”.

Anyway, while I was making an ass out of myself at the table. I tried to calm down, and go get their drinks. By that time, the man asked me my name. And I said, my name. And immediatley I was like…”shit, now he knows my name.” Thinking to myself here comes a corporate complaint. Also I had forgotten a precious medication that helps me get through the night.

Well, while that was going on, I still had other tables. This table that I had, who Mackie called the freaks at table nine, which made sense, they were weird. The mother was nice, the kids, anyway, they were weird. Well, what happened next began a shit storm that ended with a survey being taken home.

The “freaks from table 9” as mackie called them, wanted their bill, and I gave it to them, after dessert and what not. Cool, I thought, I had been excellent to them, and things would be alright. So I go back to the table who I had offended with my awkward comments, take their order, and go back in the back room. I sat their frozen for like ten minutes. I came back, and wondered why table 9, hadn’t left yet, and then realized that I never took their check. and that was when the survey was taken home. So that was that table. I was so worried about the blind date table that i had completely forgotten about them.

They were agitated, but left me a 17 dollar tip, and took the survey home.
So, that was my night last night. Funny, I thought that the blind date table would be the ones to complain. Irony.

so that’s a word or two about boredom

just another jagged thought by jason