Hear in the silence

Sometimes I just need to breathe
not the usual breath
of inhale and exhale
not the regulated process
of moving air into and out of the lungs
but heart pumping
blood coursing through veins
propped up pretty blue
centered in porcelain skin.
I just need to stretch my inner human being.

There are the voices
the conscience
sub-conscience
that little voice nagging
the voice of reason
doubt, the cricket chirp of circadian rhythm
The déjà vu whisper, was I here
the nowhere to be found feeling.

Sometimes I just need to breathe
be in a trance, be lost in thought,
be preoccupied, be abstracted, distracted
stare into space.
be by myself.

Once a lovely dream
a sweet dream it was
no more war, hate or fear
people lived and loved as one.
Once a sweet dream
a lovely dream it was,

I woke up to reality and saw the perfect hell.

The weight of world shouldered in endless time
the space between past, future, claustrophobic
tentacles lash across imaginary reflection
dormant cries released.

I am screaming inside
hear in the silence.

Sometimes I need to breathe.

 

Philip Hasouris is the founder of the Brockton Library series Everyone Has a Voice. He is the author of three books, his most recent being Light of the Moon. Philip is the facilitator of a series of expressing healing workshops throughout the state of Massachusetts for groups coping with medical crisis and bereavement.