I was showing you sides of me I was in love with
The free little girl
The raindancer
The Riverwalker
The tears shedder
I was vulnerable
I was trusting your appearance
That you too were showing me sides of you
That were honest
You were only responding to what was in front of you
Like a master chameleon
You claimed I couldn’t love you the way you needed to be loved but How Could
          You Be Loved if you never showed The real sides of you that needed love
And how can someone guess what you needed if you were always guarding
          your secrets
It’s easy to run away from someone who loves you and tell the world this
          someone never loved you when the someone who loved you was never
          loved by you and never knew you
It’s easy to leave behind the ones who love you having them place in their mind
          they never loved you even though they knew they loved you they just
          never knew the real you to really love you because they never knew you
          each one asking
How could you
You never scared me
I terrified you
You carried dirt
I the shovel to remove
And dig deeper than you were willing to be moved
Is there blame in such a way
Were you made that way
Are you just that way
Take take blade
It should hurt me that you no longer speak with me
It should hurt me that you hate me
It should hurt me that you’ve moved on
It should hurt me that you claim I hurt you
It should hurt me that you love another
It actually frees me
It actually gives me joy
It actually gives me life back
It actually sends my love back home
To me
I should be crying
My heart should be broken
I should feel sorry for loving for so long a lie disguised
All my love did was not hide and without Pride engulf a wick that needed
          so much fire to shine
Saving you was my pleasure
I should feel like I’ve lost so much
A lover a mate a partner a future somebody
But I know I’ve lost nothing as nothing is what I was loving
Nothing it’s what you were
As nothing is what my love was filling.
A void.
I should feel jealous possessive anguish
But I feel liberated Unchained excited
Out-of-the-way has moved a blinding Darkness
I dare now see my lights of love
I dare now share my light of love with the worthy
I am no longer afraid or feeling unworthy
I should be distraught
That you’ll never be back
I’ll never see you again hold you again
Share with you again kiss you again love you again
You were never my friend
So these are the thoughts to the end of an end
And the realization of a brilliant BEGINNING.

 

Liza Zayas is a lover of writing and dancing and celebrates both as a singer and songwriter performing as Luna del Flor. You can hear her collaborative sounds and experience life through her storytelling. She invites you to dance. Her poetry seeks to initiate dialogue by intentionally expressing consequences of love, lust, ego and self-respect.

 

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