HO-
LEE-
SHIT.
I’m not in the tunnel.
What the fuck is this?
I wasn’t born in the tunnel
Delivered by the canal
Led to the tunnel
By sins of others including my carnal
I didn’t build the tunnel
Wandered into the tunnel
By chasing illusions insisting they become real
Got lost in the tunnel
Catching and giving off all the wrong feels
I tagged graffiti in the tunnel
Left markers in the tunnel
Claimed my spot all over cracks in the tunnel
I was there.
Made myself comfortable in the tunnel
Ordered in food from the tunnel
Watched our moon and sun rise and dive from the tunnel
Waiting for stars and years to be born from my yearns
I burnt out first.
I developed addictions in the tunnel
Boredom in the tunnel
Routine in the tunnel
Believing its existence meant a definition of mine
Type of rumble.
Type of get back up stumble
I had company in the tunnel
Found crossroads in the tunnel
Walked with others into their tunnels
Sometimes they stayed too long
Got comfortable
Sometimes I stayed too long
Didn’t know how to get back home
To my tunnel.
We confused each other’s tunnels with the light at the end of our tunnels
How we were wrong.
I got called names from outside of the tunnel
Got called names from inside of the tunnel
Was abused by the tunnel
Was abusive from the tunnel
How can you navigate when you can’t see a thing before your face but the images your mind decides to be true and the sounds of others making a belief out of you
You are what they say you are.
Right?
The fight to stop the misconception
Leaves so many scarred.
Right.
The tunnel watches.
I’ve known the tunnel
The darkness of the tunnel
The smoke and mirrors of the tunnel
The non-existence of the tunnel
The other side of the tunnel
Is how I got through the tunnel
I found.
HO-
LEE-
SHIT.
I’m where I always knew I’d be
Hold up wait a second
Let me feel this victory
I’m not one for putting out vibes of tacky cocky
But this roar right here is to be heard by the ones who tried to knock me
Back into the tunnel
Further into the tunnel
Right into their tunnel
And this roar right here is for the ones still struggling
To come out of their tunnel
From its rubble, keep reaching.
From the outside echoing in
I’m telling you
The sight is something to see
Be good to you.
Keep your tunnel lit no matter how dimly
The light will grow
Cracks will begin widening
The tunnel doesn’t have an end it just keeps lengthening
It’s up to you to manifest dynamite and leave it crumbling
Sometimes others bring the matches to assist with the exploding
Enjoy the laughter of madness as you skip away to the sound of ancient Histories
Enjoy the giggles from these newfound mysteries
While assuring your heart
Honey, this is really happening.
YOU’RE FREE.
At the bottom of the waters under the bridge
Rests in peace the tunnel
While I live get to live
FREE.
Now I’m swimming, n o more digging.
Liza Zayas is a lover of writing and dancing and celebrates both as a singer and songwriter performing as Luna del Flor. You can hear her collaborative sounds and experience life through her storytelling. She invites you to dance. Her poetry seeks to initiate dialogue by intentionally expressing consequences of love, lust, ego and self-respect.
