I do not want my human worries
In my afterlife
I do not want my “These” tears
These tears brought on by moments of strength
To exist in my afterlife
Why would I need tears and Strength
In an afterlife
Purgatory I’m not looking for your landing pad
I do not want to exist after life worrying that I didn’t heal, fix, forgive,
          repent
Madness
The security of my best in my after life
Sanity
Welcome me
I want no emotional connection to this realm
I want
To sense the power of peace that healed, strengthened, inspired,
          loved
To be all that is left of me
To be all that connects me
To earth and all who it births
I burn at this moment every karmic soul agreement my past lives made
          in their most wounded selves
I at this moment endured the fine print and refuse to accept
There is more to learn
Burn.
My afterlife will have no concerns for ties this present state of mind
          cut.
I burn at this moment every curse past lives have been given
I at this moment endured their poison and sucked it all out
My names on those curses
Burn.
My existence received the pain those curses intended and which ended
Many of my past lives
That wasn’t the way this life.
I at this moment burn every curse my past lives may have spoken as I
          in this life refuse to harm destiny.
I free Us from ancient anger.
I was born as a science spell makers and deal makers did not foresee
I suffered greatly
Intently
High functioning depression
Anxiety
Suicidal tendencies
Rewards for existentialist awareness
Returning to existence’s origin
Should deem them void
All remnants of pain born with me
All left to ashes and dust
When my this life
Ends
They will not be the structure of the brains and hearts of descendents
I will not leave others to mimic poisonous behavior or speech
          because that has always been the Me this world received
With medicine this me was conceived
Past lives could never achieve this level of peace
I did it for us
My mes binded to contracts with broken hearts
Cursed by the bitter
I do not want my worries in the afterlife
I will leave knowing what arrived with me was unpacked and dealt
          with accordingly
I will leave knowing a new mindset without words on cosmic papers
          will dominate the future of which I worked few moments within
          to protect
I will
In my afterlife
Be freed of these earthly worries
These earthly evils
These lost souls who I refuse to sit with
In heaven’s cafeteria
I will remember you to ensure the disconnect remains
I will cause stomach aches when your future lives come close to those
          who share my name
I refuse to return to pain
Or share the ache
That is not my legacy
Again I say
There is nothing old left to learn
Burn
The new teachings are of
Confidence
Faith
Joy
Calm
Strength
These traits I placed in the palms of infant hands by placing their
          opposites, truths of my lives, into my back etched in steel
I am a sacrifice
But I lived
And I loved.
These infants with prayers over their every breath and their own
          contracts, agreements, destinies to meet in this realm will not
          do so baring my sins.
Each life a miracle
Be born free to feel your miracle
I will not be bringing my earth worries with me into the after life.
I know I sound tough
Telling God how to do its job
The rebel constructed in my soul is doing as it do
Refuse
I refuse to desire closure
I accept to end instead
And accept the way things end
I will not head to the Wings Department and ask for Warrior
I refuse to fight in the afterlife
I won’t be the guardian you call on for strength
I will be the guardian that witnesses your strength and opens your head to fill your heart with Fey
You will know nothing of struggle
I brought it home with me.
And made sure I tossed that luggage into the abyss on my journey.

 

Liza Zayas is a lover of writing and dancing and celebrates both as a singer and songwriter performing as Luna del Flor. You can hear her collaborative sounds and experience life through her storytelling. She invites you to dance. Her poetry seeks to initiate dialogue by intentionally expressing consequences of love, lust, ego and self-respect.