I used to protect their self-esteem
I, God’s Daughter, would activate my insecurity
So the one I love would feel comfortable around me
And love me back.
I believed their self-esteem was only hurting
It was wounded and blaming me
I, God’s Daughter, would allow for punishment
The offense was
My existence not their demons
Demons I fought to slay.
I used to share my great news with the one I love and receive a response of Lack
Lack of support, lack of happiness for, lack of faith
I would activate my insecurity to protect their self-esteem
I’d agree. Perhaps this world is too big for me and only you deserve it.
I, God’s Daughter, would then light candles in gratitude, for protection, and get to work on my soul’s
          mission
Hiding my excitement behind a mask of shame
Otherwise, the one I love would rage at my happy face.
I used to enslave my heart
Walk through fields of thorns to tend to a dead rose
Believing it would grow
If it saw my sacrifices
The one I loved I loved more than the love God onto me bestows
I was misdirected by my nose
Its scent polluted my soul
I pulled out every thorn and returned them to the Rose
This insecurity belongs to You.
I used to exist in a world of whispered doubt inception, dream deflation, induced hesitation
A wounded ego had my attention
My insecurity grew tired of existing for another’s protection
I The One I Love Rose.
The amount of love and martyrdom you expose will never heal a wicked core
I, God’s Daughter, honor my role and continue to live
As has been written.
Wounded egos no longer activate my willingness to wither for their comfort.

You, God’s Child, will find your way too.

 

Liza Zayas is a lover of writing and dancing and celebrates both as a singer and songwriter performing as Luna del Flor. You can hear her collaborative sounds and experience life through her storytelling. She invites you to dance. Her poetry seeks to initiate dialogue by intentionally expressing consequences of love, lust, ego and self-respect.