Everyone on my Facebook has been hollerin’ about this new chicken sandwich that Popeye’s has, even comparing it to the Chick-fil-A sandwich. Naturally, my fat ass decides to go to the nearest Popeye’s in order to see if it lives up to the hype. I was all excited too; my mouth was watering like a dog when you drop steak in front of them. I opened my chicken sandwich, took a bite, and…

Meh.

Now I know what you’re thinking, of course the unapologetic Chick-fil-A loyalist is going to bash anything that doesn’t come from the Lord’s House O’ Chicken. How can a guy loyal to one chicken place have a say in this matter? How can we trust the opinion of a guy who eats Chick-fil-A in 2019 after the HuffPO deemed it not only immoral, but quite possibly a grave matter? How can we trust him to be unbiased? Simple. I’m a foodie at heart. That and I’m black. That makes me the authority on good chicken by way of age old stereotypes.

In all seriousness though, I’ve only ever had TWO chicken sandwiches that were better than the ones at Chick Fil A. One of those sandwiches resides at a mom n’ pop place in Woodstock, Vermont called Worthy Kitchen. The other one was at a chain in California called The Crack Shack. Sadly Popeye’s sandwich is neither of these sandwiches, nor does it come close. There were some problems immediately from the get go.

1. Y’ALL FORGOT MY DAMN PICKLES!!!!!!! Chick-fil-A and the other two places that have given me quality chicken sandwiches would NEVER do me dirty like that. How do you forget the component that accents a good chicken sandwich? Pure heresy!

2. There’s too much bread on this damn chicken; that shit was WAY TOO CRISPY. I shouldn’t be trying to clear my throat as much as I did. It’s like they took one of their regular pieces of chicken, added some spicy sauce to it, and threw it between two soggy buns which has become my problem with literally ANY chicken sandwich that doesn’t come from the three restaurants listed above.

3. Y’all can’t just throw any random slab of meat between two buns and call it a chicken sandwich. That shit is pretty fucking lazy and an insult to good chicken. If you’re gonna murder an animal for its meat, at least honor it by cooking it into something that people will enjoy.

4. The meat doesn’t have a terrible amount of flavor aside from their usual seasonings, and the sauce does most of the heavy lifting. Chick-fil-A sandwiches are brined in pickle juice, thus having this tangy sweetness to them. That coupled with the spice they add to their deluxe sandwich really takes me so deep into flavor town, Guy Fieri would be jealous.

5. Due to the excessive breading that we’ve come to know with Popeye’s chicken, that sandwich didn’t go down smoothly. It was like eating seasoned sand with some hints of meat. It was barely juicy, which is a quality I look for in a chicken sandwich and is often a deal breaker.

This sandwich was just okay and definitely not worth the hype. It’s a shame, because I was hoping I wouldn’t have to drive to Dedham, or Brockton to get my fix. Since I can’t afford to go to California or Vermont any time I want a quality chicken sandwich, I guess I’ll be sticking with my Lord and Savior’s chicken for the time being.

Stay classy…

 

Flemmings Beaubrun is an avid gamer and lover of music. When not working, Flemmings likes to spend his time whipping up dank beats for the masses. He also spends his weekends thrift shopping for rare video games and obscure electronics. Other times he’s in front of a TV with a giant bowl of cereal enjoying shows from the 90s.