Welp, it’s that time of year where everyone I jumping on that New Year New Me wave. One of the most common goals and also easiest one to fail at is weight loss. Now I know a lot of y’all are getting ready to crowd the gym and force me to have to go at 6 a.m. for speedy workouts, so before y’all pull a Wasting Everyone’s Time And Your Wwn 2018, your very reliable source for everything football, technology and life has some tips on how to get that beach body, or whatever you kids call it.

1. Discipline is of the utmost importance, especially in the early weeks of the process. In those first few days alone, some of you will be doing more physical activity than you have in years. It will be really easy the next day when you’re in agony to say “maybe tomorrow” over and over. Aches are a good thing, it means whatever workout you’re doing is taking shape. You’ve got to push yourself, and eventually your body starts to adjust.

2. Speaking of pushing yourself, don’t overdo it. Many people will watch shows like Biggest Loser and will be tempted to do high intensity workouts right out of the gate. Please don’t. Its super dangerous and does more harm than good. Try to find the balance between comfortable and challenging. Once you have a good rhythm and understanding of your body, you can then slowly up the intensity as you see fit.

3. Weight loss isn’t a marathon sprint. Let me repeat myself: WEIGHT LOSS ISN’T A MARATHON SPRINT!!!!! Sadly, shows like The Biggest Loser have convinced the world that losing 7-12 pounds a week is normal, it’s not. It’s dangerous, and your body has methods to ruin your whole life due to evolution. It’s really easy after one week to get discouraged when you do all the work and you’ve only dropped a pound or two. This is normal; and if you over do it, your body slows your metabolism. It’s an evolutionary trait from our ancestors who were hunters and gatherers. Sometimes they’d go days before their next kill in order to survive, the body slows metabolism in order to ensure they live long enough to see the next meal.

4. Speaking of food, DON’T FUCKING STARVE YOURSELVES!!!!!!!!!! This is one of the biggest causes of failure in a weight loss journey. Meal replacement should be prioritized over meal elimination. Look at what you currently eat and ask yourself, is there something better I can eat in its place? Things as simple as replacing fried foods with grilled ones go a long way. Don’t go without eating. It’ll make burning fat far more tedious.

5. What you eat is only part of the battle. What you drink in my opinion is a lot bigger than what you eat. Soda or other sugary drinks are a huge no-no when trying to shed weight. You could have a great workout, eat well and still set yourself back because you had that bottle of soda. Replacing all your drinks with water and, drinking liquor sparingly helps greatly. Water also boosts your metabolism which makes fat burning far more effective.

6. At some point your weight loss might slow a bit. This is called the plateau, and it happens when your body gets too used to the workout you’re doing. Once you hit the this point it’s time to up the intensity. Increase the distance you run, add more weight to your weight training, do more reps. As mentioned above, increase in safe increments.

7. Listen to your body. While normal aches are…normal, if something doesn’t feel right then lay off. Injuries are a grievous set back to weight loss.

8. Get a workout buddy. Having each other to hold each other accountable is incredibly important. If your workout buddy starts to slack and drags you down, pull a K-Camp and cut that bitch off. It ain’t nothing to cut that bitch off, especially if they hold you back.

9. Love yourself! This is important because if you don’t love yourself at your starting weight, you sure as fuck won’t love yourself at your goal weight either. Weight loss isn’t guaranteed to change how you feel about yourself when you look in the mirror.

Stay classy…


Flemmings Beaubrun is an avid gamer and lover of music. When not working, Flemmings likes to spend his time whipping up dank beats for the masses. He also spends his weekends thrift shopping for rare video games and obscure electronics. Other times he’s in front of a TV with a giant bowl of cereal enjoying shows from the 90s.