The E.A.R.: Knee Jerk Reactions To Climbing Mount Washington

 

*Strong Language Warning*

I’ve done my fair share of hikes over the years, but Mount Washington is by far the most punishing hike I’ve ever done. It’s also the most stress I’ve ever put on my body doing ANY sort of physical activity.

Most hikes start pretty flat with some nice scenic views to ease you in. Not this one. This one hits the ground running and keeps beating you until you’re dead. It’s a pretty steep incline most of the way through.

I’m pretty sure I overdressed because I ended up removing layers as we went up.

I had the wrong damn bag for the job. My shoulders were fucking killing me afterwards. They still kind of hurt.

I did not heed my fiancée’s warning to drink a ton of water before getting to the mountain. I learned real quick that I made a terrible mistake.

It felt as if the mountain was getting taller and taller the more I climbed.

The sun was out in full force that Saturday. That shit was OPPRESSIVE at certain points of the hike.

There’s a point where it gets a bit flat. Don’t get too comfortable, because that’s just the mountain fucking with you. It’ll be back with more punishment.

Once you get out of the forest, the true punishment begins.

I was told that even the most skilled hikers stare in sheer terror when they get to those final two miles of the ascent. It was kind of like climbing the Agro Crag from “Nickelodeon GUTS” (some of y’all are too young for that one 😃), except you don’t get all the fun explosions followed by a piece of the agro crag afterwards for winning.

Two miles feels like an eternity when you’re scaling what feels like a wall.

There are some parts of that ascent where youre totally fucked if you fall.

Wait, there are trail runners on this mountain? FUCK THAT!

You know you’re in for a world of hurt when two experienced white guys behind you say, Here comes the fun part.

The sun disappeared for a bit which was nice, but then it came back full force like I’M RIGHT HERE NIGGA!!!!

Normally one will tell you not to look down when you doing an ascent like that, but it’s quite the opposite; Don’t look up. Just don’t.

If anyone tells you you’re almost there, they’re fucking liars.

Those last 0.4 miles are some of the longest you’ll ever walk in your life.

Just when you think you’ve gotten to the summit, you’ve gotta look up in sheer terror as there’s more fucking mountain.

When you see the end, don’t look up. It felt as if the end was getting further and further away.

I finally got to the top, and pretty much everything hurt so badly even Lieutenant Dan would be asking what the fuck happened to my legs (some of y’all are too young for that one as well).

If you’re feeling beat, don’t even try to hike back down. Just swallow your pride, and take the damn shuttle down.

Overall, it was pretty fun and rewarding. I’ll definitely do it again. Just not for a long ass time…

 

Flemmings Beaubrun is an avid gamer and lover of music. When not working, Flemmings likes to spend his time whipping up dank beats for the masses. He also spends his weekends thrift shopping for rare video games and obscure electronics. Other times he’s in front of a TV with a giant bowl of cereal enjoying shows from the 90s.

 

Advertisements
Liked it? Take a second to support Oddball Magazine on Patreon!

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.