The E.A.R.: Game of Thrones Ending Rant

 

Welp, we’ve finally reached the end of an era. Eight years ago we were introduced to several houses, all fighting to sit on a chair that got melted in under 10 seconds by a dragon who now has Bambi issues. Everyone looked so happy, you wouldn’t think there was any drama; that is until the second youngest son finds Jamie, and Cersi Lannister doing the types of things that goes on in the bayous of the south. That, coupled with a fake letter sent by Lysa Arryn and orchestrated by Lord Baelish, would start a series of wars. Many characters would get murdered, including ones we fell in love with. We’d get some justice in the form of the deaths of really shitty characters.

We had a pretty wild ride for four seasons with some beautiful pacing. Sadly, the show outpaced the books, forcing the writers to come up with their own material. It’s kind of like when you’re cheating off the smart kid’s test but that person turns their test in before you can finish, so you gotta wing it. There were some good stories to come of D&D’s creative liberties. We got the best magical light show in the form of Cersi blowing up the Citadel. It was probably the only time I was ever happy for Cersi. We got an epic battle where the Lannisters understood why you never meet the Dothraki in an open field. Sadly, things only went downhill.

This season finally gives us the battle against the undead. We had been waiting for this penultimate showdown since the very first episode of the series. Sadly it was 82 minutes of poor lighting, and an anti-climactic standoff with the Night King. I love how the Night King, or any bad guy on this damn show, takes their sweet time to kill people. We would have Arya channel her inner Jordan and jump from a tree with a dragon glass dagger to finish the fight. For something that was hyped for the whole damn series, we only got 82 minutes of something that should’ve been its own season.

We finally jump to Kings Landing where Daenerys leads an assault that ends with her losing both her dragon and her faithful adviser. This, coupled with her not being the popular girl, would cause her to completely go against several years of character development. This woman would torch an entire city to the damn ground. What really irked was that she had the audacity to say, “We liberated the people.” It’s like that SpongeBob clip where they mess the whole city up and at the end of the episode have the audacity to say “We saved the city!” After some urging from Tyrion, Jon does what he should’ve done several episodes ago and put an end to Dany. He and Tyrion would get imprisoned, followed by a time jump.

A counsel of numerous rulers discover “Super delegacy” after laughing at Sam for suggesting Democracy. Tyrion somehow convinces everyone to make Bran the king of the seven kingdoms, or six because Sansa’s like “nah son, I’m taking whole damn north with me.” And to think that Bran’s journey started with Jaime pushing him off of a tower. I vote we give Jamie the title of “Kingmaker.” Jon gets banished to the night’s watch which really has no fucking point seeing as the threat of the undead is well taken care of and the wildlings are buddy buddy with everyone.

There’s really no point to that deal, because the Unsullied go back to Naath anyways, so what they don’t know won’t hurt them. Arya goes off to explore what’s west of Westoros and Tyrion becomes the hand of the King. Again! The show ends with a meeting of the small council with all the lovely banter between classic favorites.

What do I think of this ending? It feels like we just rushed here without taking the scenic route. I get that things needed to get wrapped up, but the abrupt nature of this ending just doesn’t feel right. Hey, let’s vote in the guy who ruined things as a result of being bored. Like, you killed Hodor. I blame the writers for rushing through this just to get it over with. This show deserved a substantially longer epilogue than what we got. Lord of the Rings: Return of the King should’ve been consulted for what constitutes a quality epilogue. I would’ve been fine with a two hour movie event. I would’ve been fine with an ending that was consistent with several years of character development instead of changing shit abruptly for the sake of drama.

The last five minutes of the series felt like the show we should’ve gotten. It was the beginning of something epic and something new. For now, the show is over, and we can now move on with our lives. In the meantime, I will be eagerly awaiting Winds of Winter and a Dream of Spring. That’s the ending I wanna see. Until then, take care.

Stay classy….

 

Flemmings Beaubrun is an avid gamer and lover of music. When not working, Flemmings likes to spend his time whipping up dank beats for the masses. He also spends his weekends thrift shopping for rare video games and obscure electronics. Other times he’s in front of a TV with a giant bowl of cereal enjoying shows from the 90s.

 

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