My love is like a 1963 Chevrolet Corvette Sting Ray among the Jeep Cherokees of Pharaoh
Beauty ―her face with headpiece from Urban Outfitter, neck with majestic diamonds from Tiffany’s

Her eyes are like Carolina ducks!
Like a claret cup bloom among the spiny cacti, so is she among all other women
Her hair is like a flock of big horn sheep coming down from Mount Evans
The sides of her face are like fresh apple pie under her veil

Her neck is the Chrysler Building, art deco ―adorned with eagles, stainless steel, men of free enterprise within
Her breasts are like young twin moose eating birch shoots, water lilies and dandelions

I shall be up all night at the King of Prussia Mall imbibing the scents of Chanel No. 5 and Calvin Klein Euphoria
O’ Beautiful!
Here’s the story
Of a lovely lady

She comes with me from Acadia, she comes with me from Dakota
Travels down from the top of AK 11,301′, from the top of Denali and McKinley,
From the homes of the lynx, gray wolves and black bears
You may have heard I have ADHD, she is my prescription amphetamines, my heart beats faster for her
Her eyes are my Adderall, her bling my coffee

How much better is her love than imperial porter, and the sweet smell of her sweat better than allspice,
Stronger than Carolina Reapers
Maple syrup comes from her lips,
Cranberries and pecans are under her tongue
And the sweet smell of her hair is like that of a sequoia forest

Her limbs are a garden of blueberries with all the best magnolias, apple blossoms and sunflowers
There is cacao pods and vanilla, sweet potatoes and peanuts, with all the trees of persimmons,
Mullberries and maize, with all the best cotton
There are hot springs underground, geysers, Old Faithful,
Rivers flowing to the Mississippi and Missouri

I have entered my garden,
I have harvested my avocados and cherimoyas
I have eaten the sap of my agave
And smoked the leaves of my tobacco
I have drunk my bourbon and my coke
Eat and drink, dear friends
Dance and enjoy, sweet lovers


Andrew Borne is 2 Cups Poet 1 teaspoon Musician 1/4 teaspoon Salt 1/2 cup Absurdity 3/4 cup Chef 1 egg, beaten 2 1/3 cups Family Man. Mixed together and served raw. His column 7x appears weekly in Oddball Magazine