Seven Times 13: Beer Lahai Roi –A Spring in the Desert

 

God sees you
Even if you can not see him
He sees your struggles
He knows your oppression
The pain and mistreatment you’ve endured
He sees you weeping

You’re pregnant again
The father was a one-night stand
You’ll have to sue to get child support
It’s going to be a boy, but section-8
Won’t let you have a boy and a girl in the same room
So you’ll have to look for a bigger apartment
Your other child’s father isn’t giving you child support either
He’s been declared disabled because he has Asperger’s
Your daughter has Asperger’s too
You’re feeling worried, because you won’t be able to work after the baby is born
And you are on you own
Also you are feeling ashamed
And you can’t quit smoking
It’s just too hard

Your husband won’t stop drinking
You had to get a restraining order against him
Because you had an argument and he smashed
Some of your things
He pushed you
You were arguing because his mother, who is the legal guardian
Of his other child, wanted to leave her with you for the night
You called his mother a name and then you were soon fighting
With the rest of his family
When he came home he was angry about it
And drunk
You don’t want him to see your baby anymore
Not until he gets help
Maybe in about 5 to 6 months
Some anger management classes
The baby is only 9 months old
But it’s safer for him to not be around
You love him but he needs to change before
You can trust him

You’re doing better now
It’s been a year now since you kicked your husband out
He was having an inappropriate relationship
With your adopted daughter for about three years
Since she was 12
She’s now with other family
He’s living with his sister
Still waiting for a court date
He tried to kill himself once
But the therapist says he’s doing better now
The divorce is final
And he is draining the bank account that both of you
Saved together
Because he can’t work and nobody
Would hire him anyway
But you are seeing a great new guy
Still you can’t stop thinking about it
How could he do this
It doesn’t seem possible
You wonder why you didn’t see it happening
Right under your nose
And you wonder why any one would do that to a child
There is a piece of you that is gone forever
You try to stay strong
Everyday
But it’s a lot
Two teenagers, a single mom
The stories the town tells about your family
The shame
But you say to yourself
I’m strong, I can hide this weakness
No one will know how I really feel

God sees you
And you will also see Him
His voice will be clear and strong
His face will be clear
You will see Him
And He will see you
It will be a spring in the desert
You will still have to return to the
Oppression and suffering, yes
But not alone
Remember
Beer Lahai Roi

 

Andrew Borne is 2 Cups Poet 1 teaspoon Musician 1/4 teaspoon Salt 1/2 cup Absurdity 3/4 cup Chef 1 egg, beaten 2 1/3 cups Family Man. Mixed together and served raw. His column 7x appears weekly in Oddball Magazine.

 

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