This week, Oddball Magazine received word that Brendan Trider, also known as Bluu Kollar, passed away. In honor of his work we offer one of his earlier pieces published in our journal, “Cold Metal Chair,” presented with the original paired art by OJ Mooney. We encourage you to attend the Art Is Life Itself event tonight at Boston’s Haley House, which will give tribute to Brendan.


Cold Metal Chair Visuaized © 2012 OJ Mooney

Cold Metal Chair Visuaized © 2012 OJ Mooney

In that cold metal chair

I felt guilt as I sat in it

I’ve had so many blessings

Compared to the many who share this clinic


I felt guilt for being crazy

I should of felt guilt for my shame, of how God made me

I was strong, crazy like a dog in heat

Until I started losing sleep

And popped that pill my co-worker gave me


Back it up a second I was always living reckless

A mess but blessed with strong instincts

I can never fear failure I can smell what ya think


But in a blink; The doctors got to me

My gifts were disorders

My ADD became Schizoeffective Bi-Polar

But shit it’s who you ask in the eye of the beholder


Older, stronger, badder and bolder

A fucking molder I can break up boulders

But back then, that cage finally trapped me…


No bars, no chains, no nails, no leather

Just that cold metal chair… and this grey bloom weather


see more of Brendan Trider at