The Loop

there is nothing else I am happy about
except my rabbit Elio chewing my earphones
blueberries, raspberries, the sweetness of being
wild and being prey, open and hopeful.

but, there is a loop
happiness strung up
dangles in front of me
rotating, so fast, it hums.

if I circle back, take down
pause to reflect on what holds me
each image, remembers what
claws from the chest, I write
out, sketch different faces, another
destructive habit, another self-discovery
will take over, another mother
not lying, another me, older
warning me of the process
of pain, of persistence.

the con is listening to each word
and I perk up like Elio
selfish ears up, black hair on edge
unsure of which is predator
predictor of my constant
circling thoughts, aiming
to keep me stuck in place
wishing to subdue me.


Shawn Anto is from Delano, California. He’s originally from Kerala, India. He received his B.A. in English & Theatre at CSU Bakersfield. His writing has been featured or are forthcoming in Reed Magazine, O:JA&L, Mojave Heart Review, and elsewhere.

Gunjan Bhardwaj is a 22 year old computer engineering from india who enjoys painting and sketching.