Party like it’s 3999
he’s at the bar every day, drink in hand
hard-wired, programmed
to be the life of the party
6’-5 all chrome, titanium
he has such magnetism
to so many people
especially the women on his arm
one gal pulls his lever
one hundred dollar bills
fly out of his mouth
another lady turns his knob
his eyes roll like a slot machine
and flash
that night’s winning lottery number
he unscrews his finger
pours everyone a shot
then hits the dance floor
he’s doing “the robot” down a “Soul Train line.”
while they chant,
“Go Robot Go,”
his moves are smooth, well-oiled
with a snap of his fingers
the music goes static
all movements freeze
tired of the rock classics
he twists his wrist
the music switches
to Industrial, Aggrotech
the dancing resumes with The Robot in the middle
he effects a break dance head spin
an act of art and science
the vortex he’s creates
throws people off their feet
and flings debris
the spinning increases, momentum swells
everyone grabs hold as the floor breaks open
he makes a spiral decent
like a giant cork screw through butter
when the bar settles, and people gather themselves
they realize The Robot has disappeared
then the women cry,
“Where is our sexy machine”
several theories regarding his whereabouts exist:
1. he hit an aquifer and rusted
2. he entered a wormhole and transported to an unknown dimension
3. this was all a setup to enter the “witness protection program”
4. he went to China
nevertheless he will be missed
by many friends
and fans
each year the bar holds a vigil
they light candles, retell stories,
and have live bands
this festival lasts several weeks
the bar adopted his image as their brand
t-shirts and beer steins are for sale
in the gift shop and online
an annual “Miss Robot Pageant” is held
after the bikini paint ball competition
the champion is crowned
and given the sought after embroidered sash
the proceeds go to The Robot Foundation
for inventions to benefit humanity
such as, sound activated lingerie with LEDs
Photography © TJ Edson
Nick Romeo is a multidisciplinary artist, musician and poet. His poems have been published in The Brentwood Anthology by Pittsburgh Poetry Exchange, Uppagus, Rune, StreetCake Magazine, The Jewish Literary Journal, Eye Contact, and Syzygy. He lives in Pittsburgh with his wife and cat, Megatron.
TJ Edson is the Art Director of Oddball Magazine and a volunteer at the Out of The Blue Art Gallery. He has also had work appear recently in Boston Compass.
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