“Searching the Back Alleys of Desire” © Bill Wolak


Think It, Feel It

Think it,
feel it
but don’t say it.

Drink it,
smoke it,
wank it,
eat it,
gouch it,
fuck it
but don’t say it.

Spend hours with it
from late night to early morning,
endlessly surfing
through youtube videos.
Miss a night’s sleep
before going into work.
Let spiders nest
in the corner of your room,
behind the tower
of empty Irn Bru cans
and brown paper bags
of your Just Eat breakfasts
and dinners.
Watch enough porn
until your cum
turns invisible.
Bruise and batter
your cock to the point
that when you look at it
whilst standing in the toilet
for 8 hours
patiently waiting
to piss razorblades,
you’ll realize
with regret
that you’ll never be able
to bring yourself
to eat prawns
or Nestle’s Wallnut Whips
ever again.

Think it,
feel it
but don’t verbally confirm
or acknowledge it,
to yourself or anyone else
and ever wonder why that is.


Liam Gaynor: “I work in security and hospitality in Glasgow, if I’m not writing about bars and clubs and drunken customers then I’m usually writing about my struggles to keep a clean house, brush my teeth and wash my body regularly in my spare time.”

Bill Wolak is a poet, collage artist, and photographer who has just published his eighteenth book of poetry entitled All the Wind’s Unfinished Kisses with Ekstasis Editions. His collages and photographs have appeared recently in the 2020 International Festival of Erotic Arts (Chile), the 2020 Seattle Erotic Art Festival, the 2020 Dirty Show in Detroit, the 2021 Rochester Erotic Arts Festival, the 2018 Montreal Erotic Art Festival, and Naked in New Hope 2018. He was a featured artist in Best of Erotic Art (London, 2022).