Christmas Wars 2022 Banner © TJ Edson


It was 4 degrees Fahrenheit

Cold enough to form ice crystals in my nostrils
I was in on the front line of the Battle of Saint Nick
Everyone says they were there,
But the truth is, there was only about 200 of us
Diehard Christmas fans
We had gathered in the square
Expectant of a lighted Christmas delight
What we got instead still haunts my dreams
I saw 15 elves get disemboweled
And my buddy Mike lost his big toe
It was madness
And I’m glad I was there
A veteran of the Christmas Wars
At 15 to midnight Santa called a ceasefire
Snowballs and tinsel stacked to the rafters
He said that this night, ChrIsTmas had won
And we cheered
Filled to the brim with holiday cheer
We cheered
Many men women and children lost their lives that evening
But at least I got my daughter what she wanted


Judge Jorgensen is from Salt Lake City, and he loves Christmas and writing.