Artwork © Eric N. Peterson

 

The Mitch-3000 ™

Many of you are wondering why it’s taking PoliTronics so long to roll out the Mitch-3000 ™. Put simply, it’s an extremely complicated process. First, Mitch’s cells have to be cloned. Then, induced to produce an embryo whose development must be speeded up—and here’s the hard part—the newly “birthed” Mitch must undergo an rapid aging process that takes him from infant to senior citizen in a matter of weeks. When that is completed, the neural circuitry is surgically removed and replaced by a wafer-scale computer chip with four-million transistors. The Mitch-3000 ™ will be fed a vast data trove of the good Senator’s speeches, interviews, legislative accomplishments, and so on. Then it must be taught the Mitch Walk ™, the Mitch Talk ™, the Mitch Mannerisms ™ (with emphasis on his elusive “folksy charm”), and so forth. The final stage of the development process is testing, running the Mitch-3000 ™ by staff and family. When that is successful, Mitch-3000 ™ will be ready to reassume his Senatorial duties. Remember, Senator Mitch-3000 ™ need only convince those willing to suspend disbelief, which, we trust, will be a majority of Kentucky voters.

 

John Roche lives in Placitas, NM, helping run Jules’ Poetry Playhouse and edit Poetry Playhouse Publications. Along with editing the five-volume Poets Speak series, his poetry books include On Conesus, Topicalities, Road Ghosts, The Joe Poems, Joe Rides Again: Further Adventures of Joe the Poet, and the latest, Tubbables.

Eric N. Peterson is from Atlanta, Ga. He’s been drawing cartoons all his life. He leans towards the absurd, imaginative, and the surreal, as that’s where all the flavor is.