“Opposite White Lie Day” © Bonnie Matthews Brock


It is agony to own a body

It is agony to own a body-
And I feel the ache seep through to the very foundations
Of my bones, as if they wished to rearrange themselves.
And I long so much to be beautiful that the words
Etch themselves into the back of my skull.

I try my best to make it easy for the camera- I place
Out my foot and lean back, I raise my head to meet the
Tilt of sun which makes my eyes shine-
And I try to seem as if I am not thinking,
As if I have ever done something
Without thinking about it. As if my body
Was just my vessel and not my curse.

But still later when I am alone, I will stare at the pictures,
Watching my lines and shapes blur together-
And I will feel like a block puzzle, carelessly placed
Together by a child and wholly not my own-
And I will wish to disappear, to fall backwards, tracing
The edges of my shadow as I walk unknown.


Emily Roys is a student in Ireland: “I’ve been writing poetry and short stories since I was a kid. I write about my personal experiences, growing up, grief and learning to love yourself.”

Bonnie Matthews Brock is a Florida-based photographer, as well as school psychologist. She enjoys capturing raw single-capture photos of a wide variety of subjects, and learning and experimenting with shooting techniques such as long-exposure and intentional camera movement, as well as with editing methods. You can find Bonnie’s images on the covers of publications such as Ibbetson Street, Poesy Magazine, and Wild Roof Journal, and on the pages of Oddball Magazine, Beyond Words Literary Magazine, Ember Chasm Review, Beaver Magazine, and Unstamatic. Her works are archived at institutions such as Poets House NYC, Brown University, University of Buffalo, and Harvard University.