“Pink Leaves” © Robert Fleming

 

I Want a Priest Who Only Speaks in Malapropisms

who says, “Well, hindsight is 50/50,” when asked
why her church did Galileo so wrong. Wasn’t he
telling the truth? “Sure,” she shrugs. “Honesty
is the best fallacy.” When we question her about god, ask why
bad things happen despite all this
provenance, she tells us
we’re missing the florist for the bees, that there’s more of snake
than needs to cry.

I want a priest I can pull aside with teenage worries & ask her
in all my private panic if it’s really okay to be gay, a priest who’ll meet my eye
seriously with “Be the strange
you want to see in the world.” Please don’t tell
my parents. I don’t want them to know yet, she’d be safe to ask.
She’d innocently stare at the steeple, sideways winking, “What goes up
should probably stay there.”

She’ll tell us to be good to each other before we’ll hear it
anywhere else. “What goes around is all around, kids,” she croons,
her hands high in prayer. “Better safe
than sorrow.” I love her hymns
because she is not afraid of our tenderness. She tells us to let
our weak flags fly.

My priest will remember Jesus fondly, recount how her holy pal
offered comfort. “He looked along the beach
we spanned & said to me,
wherever you see one set of handprints, that is where
we did the wheelbarrow. That is where I held your feet.”

When she stokes the Sunday fire for burning palms, my perfect priest would
remind us that we all complain multitudes.
On Wednesday, she will mark
our foreheads with ashes & a warning: our hands
cannot live on bird alone.

 

David Eileen lives in the mountains of Virginia. A big advocate for talking to your neighbors; their work & letters are concerned with interconnectedness, lineage, queer resilience, labor rights, solidarity, & care for our planet. They would love to talk to you.

Robert Fleming (b. 1963) is a visual poet and digital artist from Lewes, DE. He is an editor at Old Scratch Press, Instant Noodles magazine, and the banner creator for Oddball magazine’s Horrorthon and Christmas wars. His books are White Noir, an Amazon best seller, and Con-Way in 4 in 1, #4. He is an award-winner: 2025 Massachusetts poetry Olympics silver/bronze medals; 2022 San Gabriel Valley California-broadside, 2024/2021 Best of Mad Swirl poetry; Delaware Press: Poetry: 3rd, 2 honorable mentions (HM), graphic design 4 HM, photography 1 HM; nominations: 2025 best of short fiction; 2023 Blood Rag Poet, 2 Pushcart, 2 Best of the Net.