Donald Trump Jesus, Chapter Three

Donald Trump Jesus
has streamlined his religion.
He only needs nine disciples
instead of twelve.

Donald Trump Jesus
can walk on oceans of bottled water
left behind on a dock.

Donald Trump Jesus
is followed by millions
of Magdalenes in denial
who sit in a circle and wait
to throw the first stone.

Donald Trump Jesus
absolves all criminals of sin
by default of declaring
he did nothing wrong.

Donald Trump Jesus
wants to be a martyr
without leaving heaven’s throne.

Donald Trump Jesus
wants to give Hilary
forty pieces of silver and a noose
before he ascends further.

Donald Trump Jesus
says it’s easier for a rich man
to enter Heaven
than it is for a poor man
to enter his vote.

Donald Trump Jesus
will write an executive commandment
declaring no one shall put
previous gods before him.


Chad Parenteau is Associate Editor of Oddball Magazine. He’s been doing this series since 2016.

Matt Morris is a fine artist and illustrator working in Vermont. He received his BFA in Illustration from the Ringling College of Art & Design, and his MFA from the School of Visual Arts. His fine art has been commissioned from around the world, and his illustrations have been found in numerous American magazines and newspapers.