Donald Trump Jesus

Donald Trump Jesus
had eleven of his disciples fired
but kept Judas for his ambition.

Donald Trump Jesus
just wanted to get the foreigners
out of Jerusalem.

Donald Trump Jesus
threw the money lenders
out of the temples
with the hopes of opening
a new hotel.

Donald Trump Jesus
says he helped feed
five thousand people
by making sure he had
the best loaves and fish in the world.

Donald Trump Jesus
promises everyone a golden cross
before the crucifixion.

Donald Trump Jesus
had his last supper
with twelve women
and said they would all betray him.

Donald Trump Jesus
stood before Pontius Pilate
as an opportunity
to announce his candidacy.

When Donald Trump Jesus
was asked if he was the King of Jews,
he said, I’ll get back to you.

Donald Trump Jesus
wonders why we can’t skip the trial
and go straight to the ascension.

Donald Trump Jesus‘ first act
after his resurrection
will be to prosecute the beauty queen
who pierced his side.


Artwork © DL Polonsky

Artwork © DL Polonsky


Chad Parenteau is Associate Editor of Oddball Magazine. He does this kind of thing a lot.

DL Polonsky is a Boston area artist, writer, and filmmaker. His caricatures have appeared in The Boston Herald and His written work includes the children’s book The Letter Bandits from T.B.W. Books.