Limited Text Messaging

I’ve never been a liar and I’ve never been a thief
I’ve never been a sadist that would kill you in your sleep
but I just cannot trust myself and I will never learn
I’m doomed to crash and burn

I got your text the other day
I’d saved your number in my phone under Wake Up Fool, You’re Dreaming
All that what-if love talk streaming in my brain stuck on replay
but I didn’t hit reply

I wrote out all my failed tries
long-hand crossed out crumpled each one up and threw them all away
all the shitty witty quips I decided to not say
I wanted to find those perfect words that would blow you away
but those words never arrived

I should have just said hey
good to hear from you today
glad you said hi first because I was too afraid
So honest, so real, so easy, nothing to it
I didn’t trust myself to do it

Now I’m sitting here tonight
after far too much to drink
and my phone is on the charger leaving lots of room to think
A coward in the dark, I ignored that chance to spark
a flame that could have burned the very sky
I should have hit reply
should have tried
but I can’t trust myself

because I lie to myself all the time
and I steal my own chances to be happy
and I kill my dreams before they even have a chance to unfurl
You were just a girl
a could-be happy ending that just passed me right on by
I still wish I’d hit reply


Photography © Su Red

Photography © Su Red


Ash Krafton’s work has appeared in journals such as Absent Willow Review, Expanded Horizons, Silver Blade, and Bete Noire. She’s also the author of novel-length fiction, including the Demimonde trilogy as well as The Heartbeat Thief (under the pen name AJ Krafton). She’s a member of SFPA, Pennwriters, and RWA and is a staff writer for the QueryTracker blog.

Su Red is an artist of various mediums, currently residing in the NYC area. You can see more of her work here.


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