“Heading Toward Something” © Eric Suhem

 

The Original Sin: An Atheist’s Rant

“Does God spasm
Every time I eat an apple?
Is that why he never answers
My prayers questions
Or is it because I sin
Like I sleep –
With the hope that it’ll be my last?”

“It must be the latter,” You conjecture.
And quietly, I agree
For with every breath
I feel my sin – A thing moving
Through my tainted being
Like live wires
Burning me from within –
It is in every (in)action of mine
And every word I let fall
From these worthless lips

“Dear God,” I say, mockery leaking unwitting
Through my lips,
“I know I have sinned
And continue to do so everyday
Yet I cannot repent nor pray–“

“Why?” You cut me off forcefully.
I see the veins begin to darken
Your pale, sunless skin
“Why,” you repeat,
“Why not repent and seek
The glorious doors of heaven?”

But what shall I answer this question with
When Heaven, to me, sounds
As does the eternal blaze of Hell
For are they not both
Different versions of agony –
In one, you suffer from pain
And in the other,
From the stark absence of it.

And so, I smile sombrely, and say,
“I cannot repent
Forgiveness for me
Was never meant
For one repentance later
I shall again turn to sin
Eat apples with a nasty grin
Challenging God to tear it
Away from me
Even though I know
He won’t
For he is the one
Who gave it to me.”

“You see,
God is the perpetrator
Of my original sin:
Free Will.”

 

Amian Bent: “I’d never planned to be a writer, much less in English because it’s my third language but once I started writing at 16, albeit with terribly broken grammar, I knew I’d found my calling. And sure enough, I’ve not stopped yet.”

Eric Suhem dwells in the Pacific Northwest. He and his spouse live in a house run by cats. When not wandering around in the forest he can be found in the orange hallway.