“Jackson’s Rainbow Drip” © Robert Fleming

 

Perspective

I’ve been through more than most people my age. More than most I know or have met half the time. I’ve met people whose lives rivaled my own in sadness and pain. I began writing about my life early on. In poetry mainly. It was my way of looking at the world. It still is at times. It’s helped me gain a better perspective on the world around me. The world in general as well. To also help others by simply writing. My perspective in life is far different than most. A direct result of everything I’ve been through. My mind gets stuck in my thirteen year old mind at times. Until I remind myself I’m an Adult. That I’m not the scared thirteen year old I once was.

Life of death has been a large part of my life. I’ve experienced losing people, along with pets, the majority of my life. Both my grandfathers died when I was young. I was ages two and six when they died. Two different causes. I’ve lost my mom, younger sister, two Aunts, a cousin, along with quite a few others since my paternal grandfather died. At one point in the last few years, I held a requiem. A mass for the dead in my life. I hadn’t grieved one person before losing someone else. I’m now helping others, in a variety of ways, mainly through my writing, through their grief. It’s not linear after all. Nor will it ever be. People grieve differently. That’s okay. It’s going to look different for everyone. Like anything else in life.

Insight Therapy helped more than most realized when I first began using it. I’d often take myself out of a situation, observe everything, and do better. I’d used it to unravel my past as well. To move through the traumatized upbringing I’d experienced. To move through the pain of betrayals from people I’d thought were friends. Not to mention a plethora of other times I’d used it. It’s been a helpful tool when I go down a path I’d rather not be on. I’ve learned from my past because of Insight Therapy. I’ve learned from everything in some way by using it.

I’ve been living my life MY way for the last ten years. As best as I can anyway. I’ve been an openly closeted Trans Man. I’ve been living in the town that never once loved me. Along with its denizens, half of whom I’ve known most of my life, who never practiced what they preached. I knew they likely never would either. I went low contact with my family because of their hypocritical bigotry. Along with the fact they let their actions speak for them. They never once loved me. So I let my actions speak for me. By quietly walking out of their lives. It wasn’t like they’d ever wanted me in their lives anyway. I’m not able to be openly Trans. Not right now anyway.

Happily Myself has been something I’ve been working on. It’s taken a long time for me to do. I went through bouts of not caring what others thought. Until I conformed to fit in. To get people off my back. I began compromising to keep myself safe. To stay alive. Nowadays, when I leave the house, I leave as mostly myself. I know I’ll one day be openly myself. In an environment where I’m accepted and loved for who I am. Instead of being judged for who I am. For being who I ALWAYS knew myself to be. For finally being myself.

I’ll be living my life my way. It means going against the grain. It means being deemed confrontational. For simply speaking out. For simply pointing out inconsistencies. For pointing out things that make absolutely NO sense. It means speaking out when others would rather me be silent. It means having those difficult conversations. For others anyway. I’d rather be all of that than silent. I’d rather be the change I’ve wanted to see in the world. My perspective is far different than most. That’s part of life. People with different perspectives. People going about their lives in whatever way that looks like for them.

 

Asher Bomse is a Trans Man with Disabilities. Someone who’s lost more than most. Someone who began writing to help others in some way. In whatever way that looked like.

Robert Fleming (b. 1963) is a visual poet and digital artist from Lewes, DE. He is an editor at Old Scratch Press, Instant Noodles magazine, and the banner creator for Oddball magazine’s Horrorthon and Christmas wars. His books are White Noir, an Amazon best seller, and Con-Way in 4 in 1, #4. He is an award-winner: 2025 Massachusetts poetry Olympics silver/bronze medals; 2022 San Gabriel Valley California-broadside, 2024/2021 Best of Mad Swirl poetry; Delaware Press: Poetry: 3rd, 2 honorable mentions (HM), graphic design 4 HM, photography 1 HM; nominations: 2025 best of short fiction; 2023 Blood Rag Poet, 2 Pushcart, 2 Best of the Net.