I tried to cry.
I wouldn’t let me.

I tried to motivate myself.
I wouldn’t believe it.

I tried to listen to other songs.
They all seem in harmony.

There must be a joy button
broken in me.

I am alone
and divided within.

Low battery with nothing
to plug me in.

I can’t dance when I can’t
tell left from right.

I can’t tell you jokes.
I can’t fight.

I don’t swim,
no medals in trying.

A lonely career
of writing.

An audience that
stays silent.

No hot mic
to step to.

No crowd to
try and sway.

No pride, no words
left to say.

Nothing biting
at hook’s end.

No book to read, no strength
to write another.

No joy in creed,
no belief.

No love,
no release.

No justice, no peace,
no job to feed me.

No love to make
me complete.

Empty in charity,
and the storm swells in me.

A desire to escape,
explored and ignored.

No signs to express,
no laugh track to dismiss.

Too much negativity,
probably.

No one to read me
faithfully.

No one to
walk beside me,

No one to
hold my head.

No one to let me
gray naturally.

Something is loose.
The wires aren’t connected.

My future up for grabs,
a nuclear election.

Wish I could replay
happy parts, fast forward rest.

This evolution, sobriety
put to the test.

Still I push on, like a
nights rest will reset.

Try to play, but the coach
wont put me in yet.

I write this
in silent protest.

Nothing to ingest
to improve my mindset.

Take me down
another road.

Annihilation Junction.
in between.

Where I want to go.
Where i am.

And where I
haven’t been yet.

 

Jason Wright is the editor and founder of Oddball Magazine. His column appears weekly. His third book, Train of Thought 2: Almost Home is available now at the Oddball Book Store.