I will tell you how I feel.
I will tell you what is real.
I will tell you the truth.
This is my last meal.
Anxiety, my friend, you are not welcome here.
Fear, you don’t live here anymore.
Move in strength, move in perseverance,
Move in stoic, move in resilience,
You are the heroes that I need.
You are the world lens I want to see through.
Not the fretting voice of what could be.
I want to walk around strong like I belong.
I want to be a good man for my family.
I have a looming cloud over me.
A freaking time bomb sits in my lap.
My mind is tied up in chains.
I just want to feel something other than pain.
I want to have the things other people have.
Without the fear of everything and eventually
I will work through this existential drought.
I have been in so many fights, my mind has dried out.
My very existence on this planet seems like a damaged vein.
Blood pumps through, just no longer to my brain.
I have a primitive brain, driving me insane.
Just fear, fear, fear, playing on the brain.
Like there is a monkey rattling his chains inside my mind,
As I try to look away.
This feeling will subside, I’m sure it might,
Forever and a day.
Jason Wright is the editor and founder of Oddball Magazine. His column appears weekly. His new book is Train of Thought.