Oh sweet Lavender
Breathing into my lungs
Wish I was a scavenger
For apocalyptic fun.
I am just Boba Fett
Hunting for some mon
A bounty on Hans head I guess
Hans runs from no one.
And I am just a scavenger
Call me the apocalyptic son
Rash guard protects my arms
From the unapologetic sun.
I surf the waves
Of end of days
In my cage I sing,
I am Hand
I am eye
I am gun
I am Chewy on the bridge.

Oh lavender
Sweet lavender
Come play upon my tongue.
I walk this world alone
Alderan’s forgotten son.

(In Darth we trust, I guess we must
His state of the union should be good!
Boba Fett for president!
A rogue
A squadron thief
A chewy
R2D2
Anyone would be better then
Our predator in chief!)

Renew the lease on
The Millenium Beast
It moves pretty quick!
Alderan’s son just punched
Darth Vader in the dick!
He doubled over at the podium
Wanted to talk about his plans.
Caught the man on Tatooine in an opium den.

Brought him to a prison in the snowy land of Hoth.
Made him listen to Panama
Vintage David Lee Roth.
He finally gave up the Death Star plans
He said I can’t take it no more I’ll talk.
Just turn off that wailing Van Halen…
And so we learned how the Death Star worked.
and blew it right out of the sky!
And that’s how this kid from Alderon
Ended up the last Jedi.

 

Jason Wright is the editor and founder of Oddball Magazine. His column appears weekly.