The president drinks too much Diet Coke.
Oh the aspartame shame!
A cool cocktail of sugary substitute.
Ooh yeah, the man has a sweet tooth.

Grab ’em by the kitty cat.
Too much caffeine.
Twitter fingers has caffeine jitters.

Oh no. There they go.
Talking that fake news.

That pipe line out of view from you.
That wildfire is fire willlld!
Police the villains
Making policy
Making democracy


Jason Wright is the editor and founder of Oddball Magazine. His column appears weekly.