Beat me down into a little powder.
Take my rattlesnake dollar-
Cut me into lines.
Take me up
Like a collection for church.
Our local team needs new uniforms
Rip me like a page out of the phone book
Till the pages are yellowed like the Bible.
Till your fingers tremble like
This presidency need to be overhauled.
Sent back like a

Who would have known
We would look back at W and be like


Wish he was in the house.
Devil in Chief.

I’m a single celled CEO drowning in a little yacht no…
A big…ass…yacht!
I forgot my keys
Somewhere in the Caribbean Sea.
And sharks swim by
Some are like trees- so shady.
Leave no fingerprints
No signs of a take away.
They call themselves Patriots, ha
The only Patriot is Tom Brady!
Some T-Rex small arm dealers.
Making quick cash, with back alley cats!
Cash so fast Jack needs an arm cast
From Jackie jacking too fast.
Oh well.
Sing me a song Philip Glass.
Write me into your next symphony.
You me and the tunnel rats
We live forever
We secrete the secret.
We repeat the recipe.
For what it’s worth
And for whatever’s necessary
The bare necessity
Dismember me. Remember me.
Politicians need me!
I am Twitter Fingers!
I am all thumbs.

Lick me Veruca Salt.
Turn blueberry.
Let the acid dissolve slowly.
Make a song about it.
Charlie and his uncle.
Golden eggs. Flowing fudge rivers.
Yeah. Sing me a song.
Make it rigid like lake ripples
Sorority sister.
Make it sing like a song in summer.
Let it be over soon.
The piano dances with devils.
It starts to snow.
The rancid little loved ones.
They dream of sugar plums and fairy guts.
We just want to sleep with a roof over our heads.
We want love. We want safety.
We want immortality!
Sorry sir this will never be.
Well take a dollar. Warm bread. A bed.
Food to feed our family.
Maybe alcohol to numb my toothache.
Someone to play my piano
Someone to wake me when I can’t wake.
The American dream:
To die a hero’s death
And one day become a saint.


Jason Wright is the editor and founder of Oddball Magazine. His column appears weekly.