Photography © Chad Parenteau
“It’s-a-Me, Mario! I Found-a Coin in Joel Osteen’s Walls!”
Hello! It’s-a- Me, Mario!
Me and my brother, Luigi, were driving on the rainbow bridge when we-a get the call.
They say, “oh no! Our toilets are backed up. WA-HOO!”
We go to their church and find it flooded. Ouch! Let’s-a go!
There are bananas all over, be careful Luigi! We whip out our tool kits and get to work!
That’s-a when I see the golden circular light. It’s everything we work for!
Luigi and I smash through walls with our raised fists.
“OH NO!” Mr. Osteen shouted! But its-a too late.
Mario and Luigi already break through the wall behind the toilets and find so many coin!
Must grab as many as we can!
Clink, clink… WOO-HOO! …clink, clink, clink… YA-HOO!…Clink, clink…OH YEAH!
But Mario and Luigi do not get to keep coin. Bowser hid the coin behind Osteen’s wall and never came back for it!
We say finders’ keepers, but police say no! Mama Mia. Bye my beautiful coins!
That’s precious gold I’m never going to see again!
Now Luigi and I must clean up the mess and replace the brick wall.
Princess-a Peach will be so mad at-a Mario. Hello couch tonight!
Doo doo doo dooo da da doooo.
Bethany Bruno is a born and raised Florida author of fiction, nonfiction, and poetry. She holds a BA in English from Flagler College and an MA from The University of North Florida. Her work has been previously published in numerous publications, such as The MacGuffin, Ruminate, Lunch Ticket Magazine, Litro Magazine, and DASH. She’s working on her first novel and recently earned a 2021 Best of the Net nomination.
Chad Parenteau is Associate Editor of Oddball Magazine.