Artwork © Mitchell Pluto

 

Blavat’s Magic Cat

Maria Orsic’s appearance helped her find early success on OnlyFans. Her unusually long blonde hair, slim body, and piercing blue eyes helped her make $1800 a week. While she enjoyed playing the role of the “bad girl,” her image suggested a more innocent portrayal. Her nude content had over 666,000 subscribers. Within a year, she had become a millionaire, accumulating significant wealth.

Orsic had the signs of a typical histrionic disorder. Perhaps she had toxoplasmosis, and she learned to handle it. I keep up with a website that chronicles her life. The site says her mother recalls her throwing tantrums as a child. Maria realized in her teens that you get people’s attention by being attractive, smart, and capable.

Freud would likely classify her as an extreme narcissist; however, Jung would perceive her as an archetypical blonde. Her primary goal was to appeal to everyone. This wish led her to create the podcast “Khristkind,” which promoted Platonic ideals in a Christian way. She frequently favored the church’s authority over a constitutional republic.

Maria’s Aries moon imbued her with bravery, independence, and impulsiveness, qualities that attracted admirers, whom she rewarded with a smile.

Maria Orsic’s mother, who was Swedish, had ties to royalty, while her father hailed from Croatia. Her father, a beloved bookstore owner, was an author, a Jewish cabalist, and the proprietor of an impressive occult book collection. In the 1970s, he penned the popular book Two-Headed Avian, which offered a unique perspective on the Okhrana, the Tsarist secret police; which is still being read now.

Maria held her father in high regard, and as a result, she read every book he had about the occult. Magic tricks, stagecraft, and acting always fascinated Maria. She expressed these interests through her activities. In preparing her podcast stage, she choreographed metaphors, weaving them into a subliminal arrangement. Maria decorated her podcast studio with red, black, and white colors, aiming to evoke the intense power of the Kali Yantra. She envisioned harnessing energy by arranging any three elements in an equilateral triangle. With unwavering faith, one of Maria’s friends explained her semicircle proof, employing three 60-degree angles, would use gravity to pull in the crowds. Orsic believed her ideas could always sway half an audience, regardless of her location. The logo of her podcast was an arch-shaped half-moon. It was a simple and elegant design. The logo is based on the Moon tarot card, linked to lobsters, their telomerase, and longevity.

As you know, there is nothing unique about selling God. Because lots of people are buying it. But I digress. Maria Orsic used her newfound wealth and recognition to market spiritualism to change political views. People often used the Imitation of Christ to experience a feeling. However, Maria felt another potent symbol could produce a comparable impact. Orsic’s initial concept was to use the symbol of a bee, because bumblebees functioned like flying magnets. Instead, she ended up choosing a skull to prop up a story.

Since poets, upon reflection, invented gods, a space god’s skull would do the trick. Orsic knew people believed in female oracles, so she looked for inspiration in her Scandinavian heritage. One particular idea resonated. The all-father, Odin, who requested the guidance of Mímir’s severed head. Maria, like an ancient Greek priestess, would deliver Mímir’s oracles from the inverted triangle of the broadcast desk, with the glow of modern equipment illuminating her face. She tried it, and her acting flowed effortlessly. Orsic, with her fingertips on the skull, fashioned a tale of Christ coming back in a UFO. It seemed like she had been channeling Orson Welles, but what do I know? The next day, her follower count reached millions.

Orsic commissioned a stonemason to craft a quartz crystal skull. Like a crystal radio picking up psychic signals, the skull would serve as a source of knowledge in the narrative. Maria created a second Facebook account pretending to be a German archaeologist working on the excavation of Göbekli Tepe, claiming to have taken the skull from the site and put it in Maria’s hands. Orsic fabricated many fake groups and people to make her story seem believable.

Maria Orsic’s ascent, much like a hero’s quest as described by Joseph Campbell, played out in the political landscape. Those who believed in her understood her story on a fundamental level. Organizers even invited her to show at the arena built on the White House lawn. She performed before the main event for the World Wrestling Federation.

On her ‘news’ podcast, Maria produced a supernatural atmosphere for the news using holograms, AI, and video editing. Her special effects let her create a false reality, kind of like how magic uses belief to trick people. Her ex-husband, Billy Bones, who was the lead singer of Scapegoat, a Goth band, said years later, “The simulation’s goal wasn’t to predict the future; instead, it was to craft a reality that would shape perceptions.”

It’s tough to figure the actual cause of Maria Orsic’s irrelevance. She built a whole fake world, like Walt Disney, but with video clips. Seeing was believing for many, which caused poor choices. The Rapture episode showed the skull saying Jesus was coming on a mother-ship which misled millions. Before being picked up, believers could deposit their savings at a designated site for spacecraft aid. The FBI later discovered the site belonged to Vera Trine, a false identity concocted by Maria Orsic. For a Halloween podcast special, an animated Santa Muerte appeared over Los Angeles, hoping to unsettle democratic residents. As a result, pogroms broke out. This led to many violent deaths at the hands of Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

You may wonder where the relief lies in this conundrum. Maria just vanishes one day. Rumors suggest that Maria Orsic encountered Kali, the goddess, during a ceremonial magic ritual held for the John Birch Society. Later, the John Birch Society dismissed the claims, declaring they did not know of Maria Orsic. The New York Times received information in an official envelope stating Maria Orsic was really Mikhaila Volshebstvo, a wealthy Russian tech entrepreneur who founded the social media platform called Chirp It. Volshebstvo became a hit in America because of her catchphrase “freeing the belligerent”. In reality, Mikhaila Volshebstvo was a Russian agent provocateur. It was also a fact that Maria Orsic was a creation of Mikhaila Volshebstvo. Volshebstvo is also responsible for the website that I told you about, the one that discusses Maria’s parents’ life. The information caused both women to retreat, becoming shadows in the public eye. Although the owner of the bohemian coffee house, Blavat’s Cat on 111th ave looks a lot like Maria Orsic. I inquired about her name, and she informed me it was Amia Coirs.

Observe how time doesn’t care and reflects the fate of the ego. Especially when you turned your phone off. In the silent void of space, the letters of Maria Orsic’s name drifted away, dissolving into nothingness. Thoughts, as you know, are merely a collection of words. Perhaps the sentence ended as Kali, the goddess of time, allowed the silence to hold the lingering thought. My coffee swirled, mirroring the blend of apprehension and deception that filled my thoughts as I pondered the world’s greatest charlatan.

 

Mitchell Pluto is a visual artist and author. His literary contributions include four works of surreal fiction. the Museo De La Solidaridad Allende and the Matta Cultural Center Space in Chile both include Pluto’s visual art within their permanent collections. He has presented his artwork in exhibitions across Portugal, Egypt, Canada, and Chile. Pluto lives in western Montana with his wife, jewelry designer Julie Burns.