Dear Readers, dare I say Fans:

A strange thing happened recently. I took a job that demanded I temporarily teach financial literacy. It has been scary. I have felt like a hypocrite. The words of Clavin Calverley continually haunt me, “Those who can, do; those that who can’t teach!” This experience has humbled me. I am Catholic, so the guilt is at times unbearable. But in reality, or denial, I realize, I am ok…

With that said, I share my poem with those who know financial angst.

The Schizophrenic Savings Plan

I will begin each day
budgeting and penny counting
swearing off expensive coffee shops and overpriced lattes
abandoning designer labels
standing tall in the place where scents of perfumes and gourmet chocolates
And I will adhere to money management logic…
until I hear the call to arms
when my country faces collapse
Then and only then will I call forth those plastic cards bearing my name
There will be no time for shoppers’ remorse
I must spend like there is no tomorrow
And if there is a tomorrow I will greet it swathed in expensive silks
Holding the flag and standing proud…
a survivor of disaster spending


Janet Cormier is a painter, writes prose and poetry, and performs comedy. JC prefers different and original over pretty. She loves collecting stuff, but cleaning not so much. Janet also talks to strangers… a lot. Her column appears weekly in Oddball Magazine.