I am a Stuffist, and proud of it! I like all kinds of stuff and I know I am not alone. There are many of us out there. And there’s lots of stuff out there for us to collect. I would like to say Stuffists have a place and purpose for each thing, but in truth, we don’t. The path of the Stuffist is a weary one…perpetually seeking out new things and the places to house them. Our commitment creates as much stress on our souls as the annoying comments of the stuff bigots. For example my friend E. replaced my word “Stuffist” with that word “Hoarder!”

The traditional methods for stuff control management include donating, gifting, selling (online or yard sale) and yes throwing stuff out! However, my sister and brother Stuffists, I am proposing a more humane approach to stuff control management.

St. Anthony is my favorite saint. He is the saint to call on find the lost stuff: keys, wallet, as well as finding what you seek like parking spaces! I am always asking St. Anthony for help to locate a note book, glass, or garden tool. Most recently, I added a new request. I now ask for some cool ‘creative storage solutions…aka other places and purposes for our stuff. I received some inspired ideas.

Sometimes the ideas came directly other times from unexpected sources: a child suggested I stop letting people in for free and charge admission! I call on St Anthony so often we are on a first name basis. People actually think I date a guy name Tony, which is works for me. You should see my single friend’s faces when I explain the stuff isn’t mine, it belongs to the love of my life, a guy named Tony. Damn, lost my glasses again…gotta go Oh Tony..

 

Janet Cormier is a painter, writes prose and poetry, and performs comedy. JC prefers different and original over pretty. She loves collecting stuff, but cleaning not so much. Janet also talks to strangers… a lot. Her column now appears weekly on Oddball Magazine.