It’s 7:27 a.m. and I’ve been doing this chronological countdown since 4 with more time counting than not. Sandy looks so beautiful and peaceful when she sleeps I hate to wake her. I rather love indulging in the quiet and peace that is her while she enjoys her calm. Throb, tick. Throb, tock. Lying here, would be hell if not for her. Hell, it’s her snoring that’s making me chuckle through the pain right now. I can’t believe it happened to me…
Doc said it would be hard, and even all the reminders of past fortitude barely prepared me for this. Hahaha. Had a couple before I thought; but these here are the trying times. Sigh and heavy breath. I still feel it. The leg. My leg. But it’s not there anymore. Sigh again at the sight as the covers slowly roll away to reveal the space where something should be. It will come back some day I think to myself, like a lost limb is akin to a lost pet with a good honing device. I still want it back. The silent fight between grief and will power is steady right about now and I’m winning like a coin flip. Parched. Gulp. Gulp. Swig. Ahhh. Bubbler next to the bed was the best thing I’ve thought about in a while. Water is amazing. It is life, gives life and takes it pretty much too, you gotta respect that… Life on the water, has to be great. Just picture it – fresh smells, large swells, gulls, and the view. Sails wide open the sea, the world and you….
“Hey Sandy, you awake?”
Slight rattles vibrate and a rollover nudge try coaxing the sleepy one…
“Sleeping beauty, you can stay that way…. And when you wake, it’s gonna be a good day…”
Sleeping beauty smiled in her sleep dreaming the whole time she was thinking of being rescued by a good captain of a mighty swell ship. Sleeping beauty had always loved the water since her days as a girl and the awe it inspired in her. She longed to be at one with the sea, swim like a mermaid and see the treasures beyond the beautiful horizon. Adulthood didn’t quite dim the flame, it just lessened her outbursts for “fins over feet!”. An instant reply of laughter usually ensued, only furthering her silent indignation. Luckily for all of her ambulatory enmity, she found it a necessary warm up for dancing and swimming and so did so, but sparingly.
“Sandy, ahh you look so sweet, keep dreaming those dreams…”
Sandy’s head was clear as a bright day ready for flight. Life was different now, and she was different now because of Chuck, but everything didn’t have to change. She was hoping and praying remaining positive bright and supportive. What was the alternative? Chuck would pull out of this slump, right? Am I wrong for just thinking? I just don’t wanna talk, right now. Sleep, dreaming is good … And Sleeping Beauty is dreaming of a captain, swimming in the sea and days mixed with adventure and other things she imagines…endlessly.