Artwork © John Taylor II

 

Melania wins 2030 Best Musical Tony Award

Robert Fleming, June 8, 2030, American Theatre Wing (ATW)

Melania, the 2026 movie, brought to stage, sweeps the 2030 Tony Awards. Melania rise from a Slovenian girl to United States first lady is a mash-up of the musicals Oliver and Evita, the movie Scarface, and educational programming.

The curtain opens on a cement playground, in a state-run housing complex, where girls don’t have enough money to buy chalk. The girls pray to Mary who guides them to steal a vegetable cart and miracles turn it into a hopscotch game. In the song “Hopscotch Girl Gang,” the girls and the audience learn how to cut, dice, chop vegetables and earn their girl scout Vegetable badge. Best Costumes awarded for plastic bag and cardboard coveralls. The vegetable crop rotating wins Best Sets.

As the Best Lighting flashes, Melania becomes a young woman model wanna-be. The runway agents force Melania to be a model and sex worker. The Metallica song, a “Model Ain’t a Ho,” wins Best Score.

Again, Melania prays to Mary to help her escape the brothel runway. Mary delivers firework lighting and Disney Princess dusk salvation of AR-15 semi-automatic rifle high-heel attachments. Best Featured Actress is awarded to Mary who teaches Melania and the audience how to attach the AR-15s to six-inch heels. The National Rifle Association (NRA) blackmailed ATW voters, who are card-carrying NRA members, to award a special Tony, Best Weapons, for the AR-15s.

Act two, Melania, Best Actress, whirlwinds to United States, where she meets Donny. Evita-like, in the song “Hip-Hop High Heels”, Melania rises to first lady by disposing of anyone in her way using her AR-15s. Once Donny is president, Melania runs the country from her walk-in-closet. She gets bored with politics and transfers her hobby to jewelry. The curtain falls with Melania singing and Best Choreography tapping to “cubic zirconia sparkle”, while she runs the country and her jewelry business at Quality Value Convenience (QVC).

Melania plays at the Shubert Theatre

Tuesday matinee entrance price is a box of girl scout cookies
Sunday matinee entrance price is twenty bullets

 

Robert Fleming (b. 1963) is a visual poet, digital artist, and playwright from Lewes, DE. His books are White Noir, an Amazon best seller and Con-Way in 4 in 1, #4. Founding/contributing editor of Old Scratch Press and editor of Instant Noodles. During Covid three of his 1-act plays were produced on zoom: digital connection, Pazuzu Pajamas, and the 8th wonder. In 2025, his comedy sketch, Hamlet at the drive through window, was nominated for Best of the Net and Best Short Fiction.

John “Hoss” Taylor Jr. is a cartoonist from Hebron, Maryland. He graduated from Salisbury University with a bachelor’s degree in art. His art and comics work has been published in various literary magazines (both in print and digitally). Hoss can be found at home with his wife Caitlin, and their daughter Sophia.