“Start Spreadin’ the News” © Lee Hammerschmidt

 

Real Men

A real man don’t take no shit, though he takes more of everything else than he intends on giving. He deepens his voice upon the arrival of another, man or woman, who’s physically impressive. He flares his arms and hawks spit as he walks. He doesn’t believe in books, vulnerability, or the female orgasm. He can’t turn on a computer, won’t defer to another, or ever deign to eat yogurt. When you measure him, quality and quantity are one and the same, and a few missing teeth increases his worth. He values work greatly, if it adds shine to his calluses, or dollars to his pay, otherwise, he’s never worked a day—the closest he comes is crying, after too much beer, or whiskey—he’s not fragile, not a pussy, he’s just drunk, and if you can’t understand, that’s just because you ain’t a man.

 

Joe Couture is a writer living in rural Nova Scotia. He writes for his health. If you want to connect with him, try here: @rjcouture.bsky.social

Lee Hammerschmidt is a Visual Artist/Writer/Troubadour. He is the author of 10 collections of short stories and illustrations. Check out his hit parade on YouTube.