“Standing on the Edge of Time” © Edward Michael Supranowicz

 

Now, What?

It’s been such a hard,
bittersweet year.

Illnesses and deaths
of family and friends.

Relationships at crossroads
as friends move on

to their next adventure,
leaving me behind.

It’s so hard to let go,
to say goodbye

to what felt safe
and nurturing,

affirming and uplifting,
validating and purposeful.

I no longer know
where I belong.

Nothing fits anymore.
Nothing feels true.

I revert back to childhood sensibility:

Lucy Ricardo
channeling Talulla Bankhead
while feigning amnesia.

She asked, Who am I?

But as kids, my aunt and I

(probably from some
Warner Bros. cartoon)

always emoted the line as

Who am I?
What am I?
Where am I?
Why am I?

These are the questions
I ask myself now.

But there is no answer.

Only a maw of silence.

 

Jackie Oldham is a poet, essayist, storyteller, photographer of clouds, trees, and birds, and a (mostly retired) musician who sings and plays piano, recorder, flute, guitar, and pipe organ. Fiercely proud of her hometown, the hardscrabble, widely maligned Incorporated City of Baltimore, Maryland, she writes about her family and upbringing, and her identity as a Black woman who for 40 years has made having bipolar disorder work in her favor. She writes about anything and everything she cares about: politics, nature, the nature and art of writing, the vagaries of aging, and wrestling with Life and Death.

Edward Michael Supranowicz is the grandson of Irish and Russian/Ukrainian immigrants. He grew up on a small farm in Appalachia. He has a grad background in painting and printmaking. Some of his artwork has recently or will soon appear in Fish Food, Streetlight, Another Chicago Magazine, The Door Is A Jar, The Phoenix, and The Harvard Advocate. Edward is also a published poet who has been nominated for the Pushcart Prize multiple times.